Mature Thoughts Of An Amateur

How Facebook Trumped Orkut In Indian Market

2012-01-05T00:18:00.002+05:30

I wanted to write this blog post for a long time, but somehow couldn't manage to find time for the same due to various reasons. Past few months have been incredibly hectic, not just profession wise, even on personal front there are far too many things happening to keep me busy like crazy.

Few months back, I attended an OME (Online Marketing Enthusiast) community meetup in Christ College Bangalore, where I happened to meet Srinivas Tamada (the brain behind 9lessons.info, India's 2nd largest technology blog in terms of Adsense revenue and popularity after the numero uno Amit Agrawal of labnol fame). Srinivas is barely 25, but such a soft-spoken, charming and humble personality that it was nothing sort of a pleasure interacting with him. Srinivas shared a wonderful conjecture related to Orkut and Facebook rivalry in Indian market, how Orkut's enormous popularity was followed by a steady decline in the wake of Facebook onslaught and Google's seemingly helplessness in reviving Orkut. It all boiled down to one killer feature that Facebook introduced. This seemingly game-changing feature was nothing but Facebook Wall feature, which was already present in Orkut as Scrap Book !!

The reason, why Orkut clicked in India, after wooing the masses in Brazil, is the fact that both these countries are very similar in nature, especially the social culture, how people maintain their familial relations (Giving respect to elders, a liking for emotional TV soaps, undue interest in others' affairs ; to name a few of them). But one thing that stood apart in Indian culture is We Indians are extremely interested in knowing what others are doing, did Roy broke up with his girl friend or not, how is SharmaG's conventional family coping with their modern daughter-in-law et al. This was one of the biggest factor, which propelled Orkut's enormous growth in Indian market. I still remember, one of the favourite timepasses used to be looking others' (read babes') Scrapbooks, see the conversation unfold and extrapolate the relationship.

On the other hand, Facebook was a distant second and happy playing 3rd or 4th fiddle in Indian social networking market space. Facebook had a harsh realization that it was not doing good, as expected. They started analyzing Orkut's market share and researching as to what made Orkut so popular amongst Indians. They finally cracked the jigsaw. They noticed that Scrapbook was the ONLY thing that was clicking for Orkut.

Almost around the same time, Orkut implemented some of its Privacy Control features, by which you could restrict your scrapbook's and photo album's visibility. One of the most hated screen messages on Orkut at that time was

No scrap from you !!

But, Orkut didn't realize that Privacy is not such a big concern amongst Indian masses compared to western societies and over-estimated the Privacy threat. While this provided ladies some much needed respite from useless friend requests, it turned out to be the biggest mistake Orkut ever committed in Indian market (they are still paying for that). People in US and elsewhere are extremely particular about Privacy. But not so much in Indian society, where everyone knows others' grand fathers' name as well as how much his or her neighbour's salary is. So giving such an option to end users was nothing sort of committing suicide. But Orkut's mind was fixated with privacy concerns and not so much about the underlying side-effects, these new changes may bring.

Facebook pounced on this and came with its own version of Scrapbook i.e, Facebook Wall. It is rumoured that on the day of Facebook Wall launch, nearly 7 million people in US and elsewhere DELETED their Facebook account. Till then, Facebook was nothing but a Dating Website for them, where all things personal were TRUELY PRIVATE. The moment, Wall came through, they were worried that people may come to know about their social lives(read rendezvous) and took it as an intrusion of their privacy. But Facebook was not too concerned, they had Indian mass in mind. They knew the potential of Indian market, they had their eyes firm on billions of Indians and not on millions of "Angry with Facebook Wall" US/Europe nationals.

Facebook was already rich with apps, performance wise it was faster and better than Orkut. So when they introduced the Wall feature, it was the death nail for Orkut. Add to that the strict privacy controls, people started loosing motivation in staying hooked to Orkut. It had nothing new on offer (Orkut was damn lazy in bringing out features and almost took its numero uno position for granted). As a result, people started migrating in bunches, the initial mass consisted of those disgruntled people, who were fed up of seeing "No scrap from you" screens. In the beginning, People doubled up on Facebook and Orkut for sometime, waiting for the moment, when all their friends moved to Facebook. Once the migration was complete, they simply got hooked to Facebook and never went back to Orkut. Some of them even went to the extent of deleting their Orkut account. And we all know, where Facebook is.

Ever heard a story of somebody beating his competitor with his competitor's weapon. Facebook's battle with Orkut is a classic example !!

PS: Wish you all a very very happy and prosperous new year 2012 :-)

Project 4 Speech at Toastmasters - How to say it

2011-10-18T03:30:00.003+05:30

Project 4 speech is considered as a very important milestone in Toast Masters's communication track, in fact many people believe this should be taken as the first sign, of one being serious about achieving his or her Competent Communicator goal. So following that trend, I recently delivered my Project 4 speech at Orators, the Toast Master club that I am part of. I am not going to list down the speech objectives, as they have been described at length, quite beautifully in Toast Master Competent Communicator manuals. The speech text follows

Kirr..Thuck..Kirrrrr..Thuck..KirrrrrrrrrrrrrrR..Haan haan haah. When I woke up, I realized it was not my mobile's alarm, but the doorbell, which was ringing; ringing out loud; loud enough to wake up even the dead. I got down from my bed, started walking with my legs as heavy as those of an elephant. I reached the main-gate while still rubbing my eyes. Kya SaaB, Etna Der Se Baja Raha Hai , Bhains kee mafik so raha tha Kya (I am knocking for a long time, but you were sleeping like a buffallo. I saw my maid thundering like a rocket (Dhech Kaun. Dhech Kaun.. taking evasive action..) I didn't say anything. As has been the norm set earlier, I only said Sorry, promised that from next day onwards, she will not have to complain about anything and let her enter my house.

Fellow toastmasters and guest, right then I suddenly saw something, which had the potential of setting the tone for rest of the day, may be even rest of my life. As I stood in my balcony, I saw two young girls making their way towards my house, one as gorgeous as a greek goddess and other as ugly as a wicked vamp frequently seen in 70’s-80’s bollywood movies. I have understood physics, Einstein’s relativity theory, maths, numbers; how infinity plus infinity equals infinity, I have even understood how India TV shows live ghosts talking to its journalists. (l have even figured out how Amitabh Bachchan starts his day using Big Babool tooth-pase, apply Boro Plus on his face, consume Dabur Chyawanprash, get dressed in a Reid and Taylor suite and drive down a Ferrari and end his day with a blog on BigAdda : I had to skip it, because of time-constraint). But I have failed; failed miserably in understanding why a good-looking girl is almost always accompanied with an equally bad-looking one. (Optional : Describe their clothing, their jewellery, nail-polish etc to create picture … : Again skipped due to time-crunch), a classic case of Rakhi Sawant giving company to an Aishwarya Rai.

But I was not distracted, my eyes were firmly fixed on my target that is the good-looking one, very much like an eagle eyeing its prey. I waited anxiously with bated breath for their arrival. When they were at a stone’s throw way, I got excited. But those high hopes were soon to be left high and dry. When they came close enough, I heard a word; an unforgettable word which was not to be forgotten for the rest of my life. Uncle !! Uncle !!

I looked around, but could not spot anybody. I was convinced that these ladies had inadvertently called me Uncle, One single word “Uncle” poured gallons of cold water onto all my dreams, I was shattered, my world came crashing down into heaps. Dejected, disgusted, and devastated, I slammed the door behind and made a quiet exit from the scene. It was time to introspect. I got up and looked into the mirror. I discovered that the Y and Z co-ordinates for my body were becoming more prominent than my X-coordinates. I said to myself “This is not the end of world”. I decided to loose weight and look as macho as Hrithik Roshan, as muscular as The Great Khali. But I didn’t know where to start ?? As I was making up my mind, suddenly I noticed a gentleman, as thin as a toothpick, driving an auto in-front of my house. At the back of his auto, I saw a huge poster of Arnold proudly flashing his over-toned biceps and bulging muscles. At the right hand corner, a mobile number was listed along with a tall claim “Build a dream body in 2 week’s time”, I memorized the number and hurriedly wrote it down on a piece of paper at a speed, reminiscent of the promptness, Digvijay Singh shows in issuing controversial statements.

I called up the number, enrolled myself with a subscription costing way more than my salary. But help came from unexpected corners, HSBC, ICICI, HDFC I had plastic cards, not one, not two but a whole bunch of them. I also bought a treadmill for my morning jog and a couple of dumb-bells for my biceps, non-existent by the way. But, I over-estimated my own capabilities, like most of us do, when putting your alarm-clock before going to bed. I was my usual self, lazy, lethargic, laid-back and hardly used any of these equipments. After a week, I noticed my maid doing innovative things with these equipments. She had a perennial complain w,r,t a cloth-hanger, she finally found one in my treadmill. She used to crib about non-availability of mixer-and-grinder. She used my unused dumb-bells for that. I was glad that if not me, at least these equipments are being put to good use by maid and in-fact have made her happy.

But honeymoon doesn’t last forever, do they ?? The worst was about to come. I started receiving numerous calls and messages from the Retail Store reminding me of the balance payment due on my last purchase. When I skipped my credit-card payment, banks didn’t leave any stone unturned in announcing me as a defaulter, a fugitive and letting me know, that I am far more dangerous than a dreaded gangster like Dawood Imbrahim and more corrupt than even A.Raja. After multiple default on my payments, the recovery-agents thronged my house. I had a live-demo of Judo-Karate and Marshal-Art at my house, as I received a royal thrashing from them. I landed in a government hospital, thanks to my roommate. Battered, bruised and injured, I always thought about my dream, a sweat dream, that had just turned into a horrible nightmare ; a nightmare, which haunts me even today. When I got discharged from hospital, I was barely recognizable, as I had lost almost half of my body weight. I had finally achieved my goal, that of loosing weight, albeit via an unconventional path; not by 5 KG, not by 10Kg, but a full 50%. It was like getting a 50% discount, when we go shopping at Big Bazaar.

My journey towards a lighter, thinner version of myself, had finally come to an end. But with so many twists and turns, it couldn’t have been more eventful and exciting. Over to you, ToastMaster.

PS: It was again a cooked up story, but was liked by all fellow Toast Master members and my evaluators alike. In fact, I was one of the very few members in our Orators club, to have cleared Project 4 speech on their first attempt :-)

Guest Blogger on BlogDefined.Com

2011-10-12T00:30:00.000+05:30

About a year back, I started searching for opportunities to do Guest Blogging on other blogs. The first one (and so far the last one :-) that I tried my hands on was BlogDefined.com. It is owned by a full-time blogger Pankaj Gupta,who is a known expert in the field of SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and SEM (Search Engine Marketing) and is currently based out of Bangalore. I wrote a total of 9 blogs for BlogDefined.com of which 3 were related to Cricket, so not really relevant today. However, there were other good posts about Blogging, Social Media, Smart phone specifications, which were liked by BlogDefined.com's readers, as reflected by the number of comments, they attracted.

Technology/Blogging/Social Media/Smart Phone/E-Commerce

1. How To Enable Logging into Facebook Account Using Gmail Yahoo MySpace

http://www.blogdefined.com/5161/how-enable-logging-facebook-account-using-gmail-yahoo-myspace

This blog post talks about a way on how to enable logging into your Facebook account using your Gmail, Yahoo or MySpace credentials.

2. Motorola Quench XT5 PC Suite Specifications Review Features Price

http://www.blogdefined.com/4980/motorola-android-quench-xt5-mobile-phone-pc-suite-specifications-review-features-price

This blog post gives a product-review of (then newly) Motorola Quench XT5 Handset.

3. How To Add Share It Social Networking Buttons To All Your Blog Posts

http://www.blogdefined.com/4593/how-add-share-it-social-networking-buttons-blog

This blog post talks about an inbuilt facility inside Blogger to provide a "Share it Social Networking Button" on your blogger blogs.

4. Lava A10 Mobile Phone PC Suite Specifications Review Features Price

http://www.blogdefined.com/4502/lava-a10-mobile-phone-pc-suite-specifications-review-features-price

This blog post gives a product-review of (then newly) launched Lava A10 Handset.

5. Introducing Like-Dislike Option In All Your Blog Posts

http://www.blogdefined.com/188/introducing-like-dislike-option-in-all-your-blog-posts/

This blog post talks about an inbuilt facility inside Blogger to provide an equivalent of “Like-Dislike” feature of Facebook onto your Blogger blogs.

6. Best Sites Portals For Ordering Buying Books Online

http://www.blogdefined.com/116/best-sites-portals-for-ordering-buying-books-online

This blog post talks about all websites, which offer online purchase of books, brand new books as well as second hand books.

Cricket

1. Pakistan New Zealand Test Series ODI T20 Schedule Results Match Summary

http://www.blogdefined.com/4967/pakistan-new-zealand-test-series-odi-t20-schedule-results-match-summary

2. Indian Premier League 2011 IPL 4 Players Auction Latest Update & News

http://www.blogdefined.com/4680/indian-premier-league-ipl-players-auction-updates-news

3. Pakistan South Africa Test Series 2010 Schedule Results Match Summary

http://www.blogdefined.com/113/pakistan-south-africa-test-series-2010-schedule-results-match-summary

Thanda Matlab CocaCola :-)

2011-10-05T03:13:00.002+05:30

Well, It has been a while, since I last wrote a blog. But then, there are far too many things happening on personal and professional front, so as to keep be too occupied to find time for my writings.

Recently during one of Toast Master Sessions, the table-topic that I choose to speak on was the famous Coca Cola tagline: Thandha Matlab Coca Cola. I tried recollecting my thoughts and came across a nice anecdote from my childhood days, which made for an interesting speech (at least, judging my audience's response), as it resulted into me being duly rewarded with "Best Table Topic Speaker" award at the end of the session. Unlike Toast Master Table Topics, where I am constrained by a 2 minute duration for my speech (plus or minus 30 seconds grace period), there is no such restriction imposed on my writings, as far as my blog is concerned :-). After all, this is my blog-space, is not it ;-)

Every time, I hear this catch-phrase "Thanda matlab Coca Cola", I can't help but go back to my school days, busy doing my utmost preparation, so that I could be go as part of a "Baraat Party". One of my cousin was getting married and he happened to be married to a girl from a somewhat rich family. When we reached bride's place, we were served with cold-drinks, not in bottles or cans, but in plastic glasses (also called "Piyo Pheko" glasses in rural lingo). As far as my memory goes, this was (probably) my first encounter with Soft Drinks. In all the marriages, attended before, we used to be served with Sugar (at times saccharin too, if situation demanded aggressive cost-cutting :-)) based "Sarbat", laced with tinge of Rasna (Remember the catch line from 90's : "I Love You Rasna"). So when I was served with a glass bearing a black colour, full of Coca Cola, looking different from all the previous Sarbat-Offering, I was little apprehensive about tasting it. But I had no choice, so I just accepted it gracefully, held it in my right hand, pretended to drink it and started watching others as to what they were planning to do or already doing with their glasses.

In one corner, we had our grand father, sitting and chatting with his cousins and friends(in the same age group). The conversation was somewhat typical to people from old generations, which went like this

Sushil : What is this black coloured substance, they have served to us. Does any of you have any idea as to what this could be ??

Falgu : No clue, I have attended enough marriages in my lifetime, but never seen anything like this. Must be something specific to towns and cities, as I don't remember coming across anything of this sort before in villages.

Grand Pa (patting his falling forehead with his right hand) : I feel sorry for this younger generation. They are going no where (with a voice filled with sorrow). Look, what they have done. They started serving liquors openly during marriages. Even in our times, we used to have it served, but only to a selected few individuals and that too under the table. But, sadly times have changed. Those were the golden old days !!

Without they realizing it, I was eavesdropping on their conversation. In my school books and elsewhere, I had read enough about liquor and evil effects of its consumption. So on hearing this, I almost felt happy and vindicated of sorts, that I had not touched and tasted the so-called wine-glass.

But then there were few hooligan-types, so called macho-men in brides' side, who were drinking coca-cola in big-gulps and were even asking for more. When they saw the gang of my grand-father and few other oldies not even touching these soft-drinks, they went berserk. They started mocking and making fun of us, few of them even started hooting us (it is almost fashionable for people from bride's side to be making fun/mockery of people on groom's side. In general, it is kept within acceptable limits, but sometimes, it does tend to go a little overboard though). They were shouting at the top of their voice : Thanda Matlab Coca Cola..Thanda Matlab Coca Cola ..

I silently watched all this proceedings from side lines and thought to myself "Why are these people going mad over some gentlemen not touching these black-coloured offerings, which (in their opinion) could possibly be wine ??". For a moment, I thought that all these turbo-charged people were doing, what they were doing, under the influence of alchohol. But at the same time, I didn't want myself to be classified alongside these old orthodox people, so I decided to give cold-drinks an honest try. I took the first ship, but I could not swallow even a single drop of it. The moment, it crossed my throat, I felt like a burning train moving through my digestion-system. For a moment, I thought of throwing it, but then I was leaving myself up for abuse by these hooligans. So I gave it another try. To my surprise (and many others who were with me), I showed enough perseverance to try it second time and this time, I was able to swallow half of it. I was glad, that finally, I was taking it. But little did I realize, that was hardly the end of my troubles. From that point onwards, every time, I bulged, I could feel the Carbon Dioxide gas coming out of my nostrils and through my mouth, creating burning sensation in both the places.

As I write this, I can still feel that chilling sensation running through my body, as I get nostalgic about those days. So when did you first had an encounter with soft-drinks ?? When was the first time, you actually tasted it and ended up finishing one or two glasses ??

The Great Battle Of Giants : Microsoft 365 against Google Apps

2011-06-30T04:06:00.005+05:30

Microsoft has just launched its hosted productivity apps service, Office 365, which brings together Microsoft Office, SharePoint Online, Exchange Online and Lync Online. This suite has been targeted at small and midsize businesses, which represent nearly two-thirds of global job growth, but don't have the money to make big investments and complex IT Infrastructure.

This has direct competition from Google Apps, which has been around for nearly 4 years. Although, they may look like competitors, on closer examination, Office 365 and Google Apps turn out to be two different products. Office 365 is meant to be used with a desktop installed version of Office (preferably Office 2010), whereas Google Apps is 100 percent in the browser and doesn't require any desktop installation. So comparing them, as to which one is superior, sounds like comparing apples and oranges. However, there are certainly some differentiating factors, that will help organization, especially SMBs, make a choice, as to which cloud, they want to live with in future.

Here is a brief feature-wise pricing details for Google Apps and Office 365

Google Apps (free version) -- Gmail, Calendar, Docs and Sites. All with your domain name. Also other Google apps like Reader, Blogger, Picasa. Up to 10 accounts, 7GB limit each for Gmail, various other limits for other apps. You can buy more storage, though.
Google Apps for Business -- Everything in the free version plus 25GB limit on email. Google Video for Business and Google Groups for Business. BlackBerry and Microsoft Outlook Interoperability. SSO, forced SSL, custom password strength requirements. 99.9% uptime guarantee SLA and 24/7 support. $50 per user/per year or $5 per user/per month.
Google Apps non-profit -- same as Business deal, $30 per user/per year
Office 365 Plan P -- Email, calendar, contacts, personal archive, and 25 GB mailbox storage with 25 MB attachments. Online document viewing and basic editing capabilities with Office Web Apps. View files from mobile devices. SharePoint Online. Instant messaging, presence, online meetings, desktop sharing and PC-to-PC audio/video calls with Lync Online. Antivirus/antispam with Microsoft Forefront Online Protection for Exchange. Up to 50 users. $6 per user/per month
Office 365 midsize businesses and enterprises -- Plan P and a whole lot of other features. $10-$27 per user/per month

Google Apps has ~ 3 million users, but Microsoft boast of ten times as many for Office web apps and as many as 750 million users worldwide, making use of its Desktop based Office Productivity Suite. So just going by sheer numbers make MS the clear-favorite in this great battle of giants. When it comes to pricing, Google Apps does score over Office 365, but the difference is somewhat minuscule (Google Apps for Business at $5 per user/per month or $50 per user/per year while $6 per user/per month Office 365 for Business) and not a significant one, so as to hand over Google Apps a major advantage over Office 365. So looks like the real contest is only between Google Apps Free Version and Office 365 Plan P.

Office Apps is definitely a better option for individuals and organization seeking an elaborate, formal and polished face on communications. However, For organizations, where most of the work happen online, Google Apps seems like a reasonable choice. Office Apps is a better choice, where individuals have got used to using Office Productivity Suite and are not really comfortable moving data to the cloud.

Sources/Further Reading:

The Frugal Admin: Office 365 tempts me to give up Google Apps, and it will tempt you
http://www.betanews.com/article/The-Frugal-Admin-Office-365-tempts-me-to-give-up-Google-Apps-and-it-will-tempt-you/1309365956
Want to pay three times more than Google Apps? Office 365 is for you
http://www.betanews.com/joewilcox/article/Want-to-pay-three-times-more-than-Google-Apps-Office-365-is-for-you/1309278999
The Great Battle: Microsoft 360 against Google Apps http://www.newsystocks.com/News/4098760/the-great-battle-microsoft-360-against-google-apps

Blog Updates

2010-12-16T10:51:00.007+05:30

It has been close to a month, since I wrote my last blog entry. During the second half of November, I have been mostly on vacation, so when I got back, I got too busy with work (I am a full-time employee@Oracle :-) and hardly had anytime to update my blogs.

Sorry folks, if you have paid a visit to my blog in recent times and went back disappointed. But just give me couple of weeks time, there are plenty of anecdotes to be shared with my readers.

If you are really bored, you can always check out some of my other blogs that I have written recently

http://ritusays.wordpress.com/ (Writing with pseudo name Don)

http://manvantarablr.wordpress.com (Oracle Toastmasters Club Blog)

www.blogdefined.com (Guest blogger with Author Name Sumanjee)

Hope you enjoy reading my other blogs, as much as you enjoyed this :-)

Stone Age Techie

2010-11-18T01:23:00.001+05:30

In one of ToastMaster sessions, fellow TM Venkat happened to share his exploits with Smart-Phones and Social-Networking-Websites. Venkat belong to one of those rare breed of techies, who has a fan-following large enough to convince him to do Mobile-Tweeting. During his Project 2 speech, he managed to convince all of us, including me, into believing that we all are living in a networking age : age of Google and Facebook and how its essential to be connected not only to your neighbour or to your friends, but to the entire world !!

But of-late I came across another incident, which surprised me a great deal and forced me to rethink whether Venkat was right.

I happened to invite one of my friend along with his gorgeous wife on dinner. My friend is also from IIT Kharagpur, the same IIT I belong to, and currently holds a plum-post at one of the startups (he doesn't believe in cooling off his heels at big corporations and prefer small companies). Armed with excellent technical skills but somewhat pulled down by below-par communication skills, he is earning as much as anyone else.

During the dinner, we had our usual talks, Bollywood, Cricket, Office Work and all those jazz. I shared with him one of the ugly incidents that recently happened involving my blog (this very blog ;-). He was somewhat surprised to discover that even blogs can create trouble at work place and asked me "Do you blog ??". I said "Yes, I used to do it intermittently, but of-late became a regular at that". To this, he replied "Haan, You work for a big corporation with plenty of free time, so you can afford blogging. Waise bhee Blogging to wahi log karte hain jinke paas bahut sara khali time hoga" (Blogging is mostly done by only those people, who has a lot of spare time at their disposal !!)

I was shocked.I couldn't believe what I just heard. An IIT graduate working in software industry for about 6 years just rejected blogging (the biggest take away from Web 2.0) as merely a time-pass. I asked him "How about those CXOs of corporations, as big as Google and as small as Cleartrip !! Even they blog. Does that mean they have more spare time than a senior software developer working at a mobile startup ??". There was no answer from my friend, he could have given one, only if he had one !!

I started wondering, how on earth these techies are surviving the test of times ?? But then I realized, may be India's silicon valley doesn't disappoint anyone, not even these stone-age techies :-)

What Is In A Name

2010-11-17T16:14:00.007+05:30

I was following Cricinfo Live-Commentary on 1st test-match between Sri Lanka and West Indies. As rain stopped play and the commentators got tired of providing weather-updates, the followers themselves decided to have some fun by discussing some interesting anecdotes not related to Cricket. Somehow a topic involving persons with long names came up for discussion. Here are few interesting ones.

Some of the Sri Lankan players, who have the longest name in Cricket History, are

Amunugama Rajapakse Rajakaruna Abeykoon Panditha Wasalamudiyanse Ralahamilage Rajitha Krishantha Bandara Amunugama popularly known as Rajitha Amunugama. He boasted 11 initials - a fitting number for a member of a cricket XI, but nothing sort of a headache for scorers and journalists.
Arya Kastriya Takurartiya Dawaditya Gadyawasam Lidamullage Asitha Suraj de Silva popularly known as Suraj de Silva. Total 10 words.
Manampeli Mahapata Bandhi Ralalage Supun Tharanga Coory Wanigaratne popularly known as Supun Tharanga. Total 8 initials

Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara popularly known as Chanaka Welegedara. Total 7 words

Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas popularly known as Chaminda Vaas. Total 6 initials

Imagine a cricket team, featuring all of them and few more that I may have missed. What a day for the scorekeepers and journalists, you can be sure that they will be cursing them forever !!

I went ahead and googled for the person with the longest name and found that the award for the longest name for a person belongs to a German immigrant to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The name he was given at birth, and which somehow fitted on his passport started with 26 words followed by 588 characters and finally ending with Senior.

First and Middle names had a total of 26 words, one apiece for every alphabet in English

Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvim John Kenneth Loyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor Willian Xerxes Yancy Zeus

His Last name had only 588 characters :-)

Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaf

tschaferswesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschut

zenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolf

tausendjahresvorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraums

chiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefah

rthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelshegeha

btbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevanver

standigmenshlichkeittkonntevortpflanzenundsicherfreunanleben

slamdlichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandere

rintlligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum

Finally the last word (Sigh ...)

Senior

Thankfully, the gentleman had "shortened" his long-name to Mr Wolfe Plus 585 Sr !!

Do you still want to know What is in a Name ??

State Bank Of India

2010-11-07T18:38:00.005+05:30

SBI, even though it is the largest bank in India, never inspired me enough to open an account with them. Every time I heard this acronym SBI, all I could think was the Slowest Bank Of India rather that its actual expansion, State Bank Of India. But I was in for a surprise, when I went to open a savings account recently. I had already mentally prepared myself for a long haul, running across different counters, filling out numerous forms and all those classic red-tape things, that one could expect at a PSU. But things were different this time around and I soon was to find that out.

As I enter the branch, I notice a gentleman greeting me with a gentle smile on his face "Hello Sir, How are you ?? How can I help you ??" I told him, I am in for opening an account. He offered me a chair and handed over a one-page form to me. As I was filling this form, I enquired about the mandatory documents. The gentleman said "Sir, all we require for your account is an identity proof and an address proof". I said "I have a Passport and a Ration-Card, will that be enough ??". Gentleman replied in affirmation and handed over another 4-page form to me and instructed me to fill in all relevant details. After about 10 minutes, I submitted my form to him, he duly checked all the details and said "We are done with form-filling and documents verification, now just pay 1100 Rs at cash-counter and collect all your details like Debit-Card, PIN, Cheque-Book at New Accounts Section Counter No ..".

Before he could finish his line, I interrupted him "How about a guaranteer ?? Is not that also required for opening an account@SBI ??" The gentleman replied "Those were the days, Sir !! We don't mandate a guaranteer for new accounts any more" I said to myself "WoW". Since I didn't knew anyone having an account in this branch, this was a huge relief for me.

I am sure, not just for me, this must be a welcome sign for anyone willing to open an account in SBI. Otherwise, you would have to literally beg in front of other account-holders, that you could spot in the bank at that time, to become a guaranteer for you. I had to show off my identity card that I work for so and so company, all my certificates, xeroxes supported by originals, that I am not a terrorist by any stretch of imagination. And even then, guaranteers were hard to find. If you are lucky, you may very well find a generous fella, if not you may have to run across many of them, before anyone of them agrees to become a guaranteer for you.

After this I moved on to the cash-counter. It took me another 5 minutes to complete the formalities at the cash-counter. I filled a cash-deposit form, took a token and waited for my turn. In almost no time, my turn had come(here again my prejudice had recommended me to wait, wait patiently for a long time, after all it was a "Sarkari Bank", but I was again proven wrong by this new avatar of SBI).

After I paid 1100 Rs at cash-counter, I walked across to "New Accounts Section" and showed them my account-opening-form along with the payment-slip. The lady there at the counter asked me to produce the originals. I promptly took out all originals from my folder and showed it to her. She verified all the details provided against the same and offered her hands for a handshake "Congrats !! You are now an SBI customer ?? After the hand-shake, she handed me over an envelope and informed "Sir, you will be receiving your Passbook after 3-4 days. I opened the envelope, it consisted of almost everything that a new-account-holder would want, an ATM card, its PIN, a cheque book,a mobile banking pin etc. I was amazed with this show, put up by SBI employees. All it took me was mere 15 minutes to open an account with a Sarkari Bank, WoooooW !!

Way to go SBI, you impressed me and won my heart many times over. In a span of 15 minutes, my notion of SBI being a Slowest Bank Of India changed to a Superfast Bank Of India !! It will be some time, before we can call them as a Supreme Bank Of India in terms of agility and nimbleness, but its definitely changing, changing for the good, not only for itself, but also for all its customers.

I wish BSNL could also adopt similar attitude for its broadband operations(not many of us would be interested in their landlines and mobile-connections any way). I heard it offers the best internet in terms of connectivity, speed and reliability, but only if you manage to get one :-)

3G Life

2010-11-06T16:26:00.001+05:30

3G - The moment I heard this word, one question immediately came to my mind : what is 3G? Is it 3rd generation or simply GGG which could possibly have meant God Gifted Gizmo.

I remember the day when I was in college and had to miss my home-trips on Diwali, owing to exams scheduled right after Diwali. Yes, we did burst crackers, we did lit diyas, we did had delicious sweet dishes, we still had those laughs and moments of joy with our friends. But, somewhere something was missing. I tried visualizing my parents how ecstatic they would be on Diwali, what are the dishes my mom would have cooked, how many types of bombs and rockets my brother had bought. But I failed, failed miserably in doing so. I called them on mobile and talked to them at length endlessly. In fact I pampered them with questions. Yes, I got to know all I wanted. But I was not satisfied. The sense of missing them and not able to see them was hurting. I was depressed, sitting in my room all alone, dreaming about the day, when I would be with them on Diwali. I wish I could have 3G back then. Well, it would not have felt the same, being at home with family members and friends, but it would surely have given a sense of "being there". My sweet mother's loving face would have been just a video-call away. My brother's adventurous bombing and tricks with crackers would have been playing in front of my eyes. My fathers' concerning voice and anxious face would have visible too.

Only if, I had 3G !!

This diwali, Tata Docomo is launching 3G all across India. More details can be found at their official 3G Life website http://www.3glife.com/.

PS: This is my entry to 3G Life IndiBlogger contest organized by Tata DOCOMO, please vote for me, if you like it.

Save Our Planet

2010-10-28T23:54:00.125+05:30

When the global recession was at its worst, out of all industries, Retail was the worst-hit lot.This was the time to innovate. Retailers had no choice but to come up with various innovative ways, in which they could extract maximum money out of whatever little foot-falls, happening at their stores.

One of them happened to grab my eyeballs only recently. I will not take the punt of naming them, because if I do so, almost certainly I will be slapped with a defamation suite for maligning their reputation/brand-value and all that jazz. One small hint that I can drop about them is - Their name matches that of one of the nick-names for the greatest leg-spinner, India has ever produced, who is also currently serving as captain of one of the most-talked about IPL teams, which has a not-so-famous-yet-commanding-a-celebrity-status badminton-player as its lucky mascot/brand-ambassador.

I happened to visit their store after a long time. I shopped around at a leisurely pace(this is where I am different from most of other creatures from Mars and similar to those from Venus), bought a handful of stuffs and stood quietly in the long queue at the cash-counter. When my turn came, I promptly took my credit card out of my wallet, got it swiped and waited patiently for the lady to finish her packing of goods. As the poor lady was busy packing stuffs, I decided to do a cursory verification of sorts for my bill. This was when I happened to discover one product that I was convinced, I had not bought, with the following description

"CARRY BAG - SAVE 5 No 5.00 Rs"

I enquired about this from the gentleman@cash-counter. He explained that this was the cost of all carry-bags, that were used to pack all the stuffs that were bought. I was shocked, I just couldn't believe what I heard. A retailer charging its customers for carry-bags !! But then for a moment, I gave them the benefit of doubt and decided to understand the rationale behind. This was when, the gentleman showed me one of the carry-bag covers, which had the following printed in the middle

"PROUD TO CONTRIBUTE"

followed by

"SAVE OUR PLANET"

"I care! Do You ??"

at the bottom.

So 1 Rs per carry-bag from the customers in the name of saving environment. Nobody would mind "contributing" one Rupee to earth's cause. So this request to sounds reasonable,right ?? Well, not really. I noticed that out of 5 carry-bags, 4 were only half-filled and the last one had just one item in it !! I told the cashier that you could have effectively packed all of these stuffs in 2 or a maximum 3 bags, why did you use 5 ?? Is not that unfair from his part w,r,t his "contributions" in saving our environment ?? Cashier stayed mum. He couldn't give any answer. He could have, only if he had one !! But I got my answer. The poor fella must have been instructed by the management to maximize the number of carry-bags !! I felt disgusted. I didn't say anything to the poor cashier(it was not his fault, so no point blaming him) and left the shop.

As I made my way out of the shop, I started wondering is that really a sincere attempt to save our planet or a somewhat desperate attempt by retailers to save their business in the name of going green !!

Who is a Yogi ??

2010-10-24T21:23:00.001+05:30

Some of us talk about spirituality and being a Yogi at some point of time in our life. I was talking to one of my close friends recently and during our conversation, somehow the word Yogi popped up, don't quite remember the context though. He gave me a very different perspective as to what makes somebody declare himself as a Yogi.

He said, there are two reasons one chooses to become a Yogi.

One who doesn't have any desire at all, so no wonder he becomes a Yogi and the other who does have desires,in fact many of them. But the difference is he goes about fulfilling every single one of them and once he is sure, he doesn't have any desires left to be fulfilled, only then he declares himself as a Yogi. So the choice is yours, which type of Yogi, you want to become, if at all you decide to become one !!

North India Vs South India

2010-10-19T00:56:00.005+05:30

I just came across couple of interesting observations, made by few eminent personalities, regarding cultural habits prevalent in north India and south India.

Poor people in the north drink tea while poor people in the southern parts of India drink coffee.
Women in the northern parts of the country pierce the left side of their nose whereas women in the south pierce their right.

Who decided that things should be like this, I don't know, but it's like this, ever since I have woken up. I am sure there are many more such comparisons.But my intention is not to provide the seemingly exhaustive list of such comparisons. My goal is to pay tribute to the author of two books, that I recently went through !!

First one is noted by Aravind Adiga in his booker-prize winning master-piece "White Tiger" while the second point is made by Kishore Biyani in his somewhat unconventionally written autobiography of sorts "It Happened In India".

PS: Some of the readers of my blog have complained about the length of my blog-posts, so I have deliberately kept it short :-). Hope this makes them happy at least for the time-being ;-)

Sa Vidya Ya Vimuktaye

2010-10-08T17:51:00.003+05:30

Sa Vidya Ya Vimuktaye

Do you know, what this Sanskrit quote mean ?? I don't know either. This was the famous tag-line for my college(some people may want to call it a school), where I completed my +2 education(In our state board, +2 was called as an intermediate program and I had opted for science discipline). We happened to realize this only when we came out of the college and that too by an outsider, Alas. A classic case of a diamond being discovered by outsiders after being ignored my its own people for years !!

It just so happened that on occasion of "Saraswati Pooja", we invited a celebrity to visit our college. Mind you, celebrity word is always relative. For Ambani brothers, Bachchans are just another family next door, but for an ordinary man, even a District Magistrate can be called as a celebrity. So we had an SDO(Sub Divisional Officer) joining us on the occasion as a chief guest.

We had a not-so-nice brick-coloured 6*5 gate, built during British Raaj, with these sanskrit-sholka in a not-so-large font-size inscribed onto it. This gate marked the entrance to our college main building, Oh by the way there was just one building in the entire college :-). As we made our way through the entry-gate, the gentleman asks the rickshaw-puller to stop. The rickshaw-puller immediately puts the brakes on and rickshaw comes to a griding halt. For a moment, we thought that he probably doesn't want to torture this poor fella, hand-pulling this rickshaw, anymore. The rickshaw-puller was looking exhausted, busy wiping out loads of perspiration accumulated over his forehead and other body-parts with his towel, waiting for the money from the gentleman. But when he got down, in stead of paying the rickshaw-puller his due, he requested all of us to stop. He stopped at the entrance, looked at the concrete-wall surrounding the gate. He notices that there are some scribblings written on those bricks in Sanskrit, which couldn't probably be read using naked eyes. The poor gentleman had forgotten to bring his specs, so he asked one of us to read out the sanskrit-shloka for him. I put my hands up for the same (I used to be a good student when it came to languages Hindi and Sanskrit, not any more though, English has taken over all my senses ;-)).

As I finished reciting those lines, the gentleman asked "Can any one of you explain the meaning of this great shloka from Vedas ?" All of us had no clue what those words meant. We tried our level best to decipher it. But we didn't succeed. Finally, we followed an incremental-approach and tried explaining the shloka, taking one word a time. Sa means She, Vidya means Knowledge, Ya means That and Vimuktaye means Freedom. So the team-work succeeded and we had a meaning. I was the one, who explained this to the gentleman. He was not entirely happy with the fact that we couldn't get the real meaning, rather stayed at the peripherals trying to explain every single word. Nevertheless, he was not too disappointed either, after all students had at least gave it an honest try, in fact they had tried hard, as hard as they could. So the gentleman went about explaining the underlying meaning of this shloka.

"It is the knowledge which enlighten us and education which liberates us from this materialistic world".

The moment, he finished explaining the shloka, one natural question arose as to what liberation and enlightenment meant ?? We were too naive and our knowledge was too shallow to understand those heavy words-of-wisdom. The gentleman replied back with a question "Forget about these words. Tell me what do you want to do after your I.Sc is over ??" We all replied in unison "We plan to appear for IIT entrance examination". To this, gentleman replied "The day, you get through India's most-difficult entrance exam, you should think you have achieved enlightenment and liberated yourself.

These words were etched into my memory, very much similar to these sanskrit-shlokas were on those age-old bricks. I gave IIT JEE my best shot and got through with a three digit rank. I opted to study B.Tech(H) in IIT Kharagpur with computer science as my specialization. While in campus, I came to know that the definition of liberation aka enlightenment had changed. Now its like "If you get through a high-paying job during placement season, you will attain nirvana.OK, point taken. I started preparing for the same. Although not in campus, I did finally manage to find a job at one of the highest paying MNCs in Bangalore. I started my exploration of software industry with a fortune 500 firm. But after spending three years in the organization, I realized that the meaning of liberation had again changed. Now it was getting an MBA in one of the ivy-league schools or IIMs.

Now I started questioning what the gentleman had said long ago. Does education really result into enlightenment and help us in achieving moksha ?? For a moment a weird thought crossed my mind - More education meant more ambition and greed, thereby ensuring that you are always chasing something or the other and making us more and more materialistic. May be education does bring prosperity and success, but not nirvana. But another school of thought suggested - Is that freedom still elusive, because I have run after degrees/qualifications, rather than educating my self. I don't know, may be , may be not. So my quest for attaining nirvana continues. The question is still wide-open and I am yet to get an answer to the same.

Introduction@IndiBlogger Meet@Bangalore

2010-10-04T01:35:00.000+05:30

Good afternoon, IndiBloggers. My name is Suman. I am a software builder by profession, people builder by choice and story builder by passion : software builder, because I work for a very small company, popularly known as Oracle, people builder, because I am a part-time soft-skills trainer, story-builder, because I am a self-proclaimed writer. My blog URL is sumansays@blogspot and I mostly blog about personal life and a bit of story-telling. I call myself a half-writer and there is a story behind that too. Ever since childhood, it has always been my dream to be a writer. But while I was busy dreaming, my mother interrupted and woke me up half-way through. So the dream remained incomplete and that is how I ended writing in cyberspace rather than on paper.

PS: This thirty-seconds-of-fame style introduction didn't fetch me an HP Inkjet Printer, but it was fun giving such a nice introduction for myself and my blog in front of 250 odd Bloggers. Thanks to ToastMasters, that's where I heard stories about great speakers like Ian Faria and Vijesh Hegde and their catchy introductions. BTW, this was my first ever IndiBlogger meet. I went there out of curiosity and excitement and to say that it was exciting and fun-filled would be an under-statement of sorts. More updates regarding this event to follow ..

Master Of Ceremony @ Toastmasters

2010-09-29T15:40:00.002+05:30

Couple of weeks back, I had to shoulder the responsibility of being an MC( before you jump the gun, let me clarify at least for the sake of those dirty minds, its Master Of Ceremony and not M****C***) during one of Toast Master special sessions, featuring a table-topic-contest, consisting of 9 participants. I was the first one to speak and it was probably the first time, I was doing anything of this sort. Here is a short-story (cooked up of-course) which I used for my introduction about our Club and ToastMaster as a whole.

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Good afternoon everybody. After having a not-so-satisfying lunch@ our cafeteria, you might be wondering where you have landed up. Another post-lunch session, oh my god, I just hate post-lunch meetings. Don’t worry; it’s a meeting for sure, but with a difference. Let me tell you a small story to lighten up your mood(or belly, up to you whichever you want to pick).

Couple of months back, I happened to come across a gentleman, while shopping in Forum. He looked very impressive on first sight, well dressed up in a suit and a matching tie. I couldn’t resist myself and said hello to him and asked, hey what is your name? The gentleman responded “Murali”. He asked the same from me and we had a formal handshake. After the ice-breaking, He asked me “what do you do??’. I answered, with a touch of guilt and remorse, as if I am in the worst profession one can be, “I am a software engineer working for a Fortune 500 company”. I asked him “what do you do??’ Murali responded “By profession, I am a builder, by choice a body-builder, by passion a people–builder and by default a good human being”. I was like “Wow … What a nice introduction!!” I was awestruck, I had heard many introductions in my life, but nothing came close to what I just heard. For a moment, I thought I had just seen a monster. I knew, this gentleman was special, he was different. I gathered my senses and had the gumption to ask him “Murali, Would you mind having a cup of coffee with me??” He said, Yes sure. Where shall we go?? We finalized on Café Coffee Day (commonly referred as CCD amongst CCD lovers/ frequenters). For me this was going to be the first time, I was heading to a CCD. I had heard from my friends that a coffee in CCD, as people love to call it, may very well cost upwards of three figures. So as we are making our way towards a nearby CCD, I secretly checked my wallet, how much money I have. You know these broke software professionals, who carry nothing but peanuts, barely enough for survival, but a plethora of virtual money (read credit cards). I also belong to the same class. When I was sure, I had enough money, I heaved a sigh of relief.

So we went into a nearby CCD, ordered coffee and started with our conversation. I asked him, what do you do apart from my work? He said, I am part of Toastmaster, a non-profit organization. For a moment I thought Toast Master,it must have something to do with bread and toast and that too as an organization name, he must be joking. Ever since Steve Jobs named Apple Computers, this was the funniest name that I had heard. So I got curious, as to what this Toast Master is all about. He talked about toastmasters for about half an hour and said plenty of things. I didn’t catch many, just like we do when we are forced to attend a technical presentation. But I caught the work Public-Speaking!! I asked him, can you tell me “How to be part of Toast Master”. The gentleman asked me “what company you work for??” Remember, I had not revealed my ORG name. I said “Oracle”. The gentleman got terribly excited and said “You have a ToastMaster club right in your office, go and talk to this fellow..He started searching his wallet for something, not sure what. He is a very good friend of mine, he will be able to guide you. In case it doesn’t, please give me a call @ my mobile and he handed me over his business card.

But I still hadn’t got my answers. I wanted to know, from where he picked up such a catchy one-liner. He said, in TM sessions, we also have an impromptu-speaking section, where you will be given a topic and you have to come to the podium and speak about it for 2 minutes. And believe it or not, he claimed to have discovered this catchy introduction during one of the table-topic speeches. I got my answer. I quickly finished my coffee and said bye to him.

Dear president, fellow toastmasters and guests,

A week after this incident happened, I joined this organization called Toast Master Internation(TMI) and here I am in front of you to talk about Toast Master and what a table-topic is all about:-)

============================================

PS: Although it was a cooked up story and no such person Murali exists in reality, it was liked by most, if not all, of members and guests present at the contest. Some of them even called me up afterwards asking about Murali and his identity and whereabouts :-)

Humourous Speech @ Toastmasters

2010-09-28T10:15:00.021+05:30

Somebody famously said "Perception is Subjective". Yes, I agree, but only to a certain extent. After all, an idiot will remain an idiot, irrespective of our perception. A red rose will remain a red rose, irrespective of what we think. But on the contrary, without this subjectivity, the same half-filled glass of water would not be called half-empty by others.

Dear Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests, let me share with you a small story. There was a religious gathering happening in Supaul, a remote place in north Bihar, in a jam-packed playground. It was a highly awaited gathering, so people flocked, flocked in big numbers. There were people sitting, standing, hanging by walls, clinging onto rooftops, literally everywhere. It looked like a typical Kumbh-Ka-Mela, that we frequently get to see in our Bollywood movies. The only difference was, here we had real characters while in movies they are there just for the money. I myself happened to witness this Mela. But I noticed that people were doing all sorts of unproductive things, one can imagine. Here are the samples

Some of them were yawning, yawning with their mouth wide-open, proudly showing off all of their 32 teeth, as if rest of us have none. Some of them were busy releasing green-house-gases to the atmosphere, forcing nearby people to run for cover. But some of them had thought this out in advance and were well-prepared for such adverse situations. Immediately, they took out their towels and handkerchiefs in open, made a mask of sorts and wrapped them around their nose. How thoughtful, thinking on your feet !!

There were few climate-change evangelists also ,who were furiously taking notes, notes on what ?? They were planning to publish a white-paper on how these type of religious gatherings result into global-warming by virtue of increased emissions of green-house gases !!

In some corner, some of these so-called devotees were busy discussing a daily saas-bahu soap. “Hey, do you think Abha will be rescued by her ex-boyfriend Mihir in “Uska Pati Sirf Mera Hai” ?? Hope, Swamiji does something for her. I just love the jwellery she wore on her husband's death-anniversary. I wish, I could have all those jewelleries. I would die any day for those jewelleries, not for my husband !!”. Somebody whispered slowly into his neighbour's ears “You know what, even Swamiji is very fond of daily soaps. I have heard him talking to few of his disciples about this upcoming ZeeTV serial “Mujhe Es Swami Se Bachao“. But please don't tell this to Swamiji.

Seemingly oblivious to all these happenings surrounding her, there was this old lady sitting in a corner. She looked pretty relaxed, trying to grasp all things on offer. She religiously came to attend this Satsang every single day and used to listen to Swamiji's teachings very carefully. But for some reason, every time Swamiji uttered some verses or Sanskrit-Shloka, she cried, she cried bitterly. Everybody around thought, perhaps she is a bit overwhelmed with emotions, very typical of a senior-citizen. No wonder, she is unable to control her tears.

On the day, when this satsang was coming to an end, Swamiji walked to this old lady and asked her “You have been a true devotee in all aspects. and have been a patient listener all through. I have never seen anything like this before. I can understand your emotions, but I was wondering as to what made you cry like a baby during all my sessions". This lady replied back with an empty stare, as if Swamiji had asked her to donate both her kidneys. Unfazed by her first reaction, Swamiji repeated his question. But even on second attempt, there was no answer, except for a wry smile on her face,no emotions at all. Swamiji tried again. Despite repeated attempts, this lady remained unmoved, very much like a cow standing in middle of a busy road in Bangalore, despite being honked around from all different corners. Swamiji was growing increasingly frustrated with her attitude, but she remained as cool as a cucumber.

He looks around and notices one gentleman making his way to the scene, offering his helping hand. Swamiji asks "What is wrong with this lady ? She is not responding to my questions ?” Gentleman replies “What ?? Whom are you talking to ? This poor lady is stone deaf. She can't hear even a single word !!”. Swamiji was aghast, he just got the shock of his lifetime. He felt as if he had just accidentally got in tough with a naked electric wire, left loose by BBMP authorities. He didn't believe what he heard. He pinched himself to make sure, all his senses were at the right places, especially his ears. She can't hear a thing and yet she sat through all my teachings for full seven days and in fact cried on many occassions without understanding even a single word. Oh My God.

Swamiji recollected his senses and thought to himself. There is a another angle to the same, a different perception. Probably, my speech delivery was so amazing and mesmerizing that it suited even to deaf persons. Swamiji took out the mike and announced it in front of all his devotees "My teachings are out of the world, I just made a deaf lead listen to all my teachings for past 7 days and understand all of it. That's a super-natural power that I possess. This is nothing sort of a miracle". Swamiji boasted this in front of every body. Everybody thought "Wow, what a great Swami ??" and they started clapping in appreciation.

But Swamiji's joy was not to last long. The moment Swamiji finished, Gentleman took the mike from his hand and made an announcement “She used to have a female goat, which was always ready with her bleating and generous in her milk yield. She was very happy with her life. But few months ago, the goat died. Unfortunately, you happened to sport a French beard, which looks very similar to the one hanging from goat's jaw. So every time you spoke something, your jaw went up and down and that reminded her of that goat sitting in front of her. That was the reason, she cried so badly.

I was amazed at their perceptions.Swamiji perceived the poor old-lady to be her most dedicated devotee, while the old-lady perceived Swamiji as being reminiscent of her dead goat.
-------------------------------------------------------------------->

Later on, I happened to invite Swamiji on a Pooja at my home. During our conversation, he exclaimed “If while eating rice, a piece-of-rice happens to land on your moustache, it means you are going to die very soon”. Ok, fine, point taken. After performing the Pooja, it was time for dinner. Swamiji started eating as it there is no tomorrow. When we realized that we are going to run short of food, we became anxious. We said “Swamiji, please have some water also”. Swamiji replied “I always follow a rule of taking water, only when I am half done. But suddenly we spotted something which made all of us forget this food-shortage and in fact feel gloomy. I noticed that a piece of rice was sitting pretty on Swamiji's moustache. I felt sad about the fact that Swamiji will be no longer with us for long. Swamiji was ignorant of this and fully focussed on matar-paneer and sweets on offer. But then I broke this sad news to Swamiji. He thought for a moment and then said...

It depends on you. If you remove this soon enough, nothing bad is going to happen. See... and he wiped out the piece of rice from his moustache.
(Due to time-constraint, I had to remove this section, when I delivered my speech for the second time at a different club. Hope to fit it in as part of some other speech)

<--------------------------------------------------------------------
I was left amused. I had seen both faces of the coin. We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. How true. I had my answers. I was left with no choice but to believe that “Perception is indeed Subjective”.

Over to you ToastMasters.

Update : I have now uploaded the video for this speech on YouTube. Here are the URLs
Part I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roBIDOxk-PQ
Part II http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejvbDjcV_C0
My cameraman fumbled for a moment during the speech, due to which ~ 1 minute recording is missing. Nevertheless Thanks a ton to Venkat for doing the camera-man job :-) and having successfully recorded it. Thanks a lot to Abhishek, who provided valuable tips on improving the content.

PS: Although its delivery was less than perfect,I still managed to grab the Best-Prepared-Speaker Award in today's toastmaster session :-) Please feel free to put your comments w,r,t my speech-delivery.

Power Of Free Will

2010-09-15T14:20:00.024+05:30

About a month back, I delivered my Project 3 speech in my ToastMaster Club and here is what I spoke

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Paul the Octopus had the entire world in his tentacles for over a month. I am pretty sure, there are people in this room, who cannot name 10 international footballers but know all things about Paul.

Paul's seemingly spooky psychic abilities made me think - Are our destinies predetermined ? Is the universe heading towards a foregone conclusion. Are we really wasting our precious time thinking qualities like hard work,honesty and sincerity will help us?

Dear Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and Guests, I am here today to share with you why I think the answers to all of the these questions is an unequivocal "no", and share with you whatever little knowledge I have about the power of free will.

If you look up the dictionary, free will is defined as the power of making free choices that are unconstrained by external circumstances or by an agency such as fate or divine intervention. Let me tell you a story. Jessica Cox was born without arms as a result of a rare congenital disease. She did not understand why she had no arms like other children. She frequently felt oppressed, downtrodden and on the verge of breakdown resulting from anger and frustration. For Jessica, the main challenge was the constant perception of outside world more than the physical adversity itself. But one day she said to herself "enough is enough" and decided she would be everything that others presume she cannot be!

Today she is a holder of a degree in Psychology, holds an unrestricted driving license, fills gas for her car on her own. She is able to write 25 words per minute, dry her hair, put on her make-up, and wear her contact lenses with the same ease as anyone else. All of these not with artificial hands, but with her legs!! Jessica is the first lady in history to have piloted a plane without arms. She said in one of her interviews - “Most of the times, fear starts from the lack of knowledge of the unknown. There is a universal fear, that of lack of self-confidence. If you don't believe in yourself, who else is going to ??" Surely Jessica could not have been destined to live normally in our society, let alone pilot a plane and have the lives of many people in her hands (or should I say legs)! This is a true example of the power of free will.

"Free will" also refers to the type of decision which is uniquely humane: a moral choice. But let's not mistakenly think that morality is the choice between "good and evil." What is good for you could be evil for others. Everyone chooses to be "good" - even the most evil, immoral people. Hitler rationalized that the Jews were the enemies of the world, so in his mind he justified whatever he did as doing "good." Osama Bin Laden opined that America is a threat to Islam and should be destroyed. His conscience propels him to think that this is not evil. But these actions can't be called as exercising one's free will , can they ??

So what exactly is free will? Friedrich Wilhelm defines will as "any internally motivated action", but more of a "creative spark," a certain independence and stubbornness. It helps us believe "If you want it, you will get it". But it requires focus, it requires channelizing all your energies towards thought motivated actions , so that you can achieve what you aspire to. The vedas say "yad bhavam tad bhavati" meaning whatever you think so will it be. If you think positively, you have created a sphere of positive energy around you and you are guaranteed to succeed. On the other hand, if you constantly let yourself taken over by negative thoughts, you are destined to fail.

We, as human beings, have a power - the power to judge ourselves, the power to analyze our actions and do what we think is good for us, good for society, good for humanity. But to exercise such free will, one needs discipline, the discipline to resist the evil forces that try to distract us from our path.

If you ask me, life is nothing but a simple mathematical equation. Its just like swimming against the tide. If your force is greater than that of the stream, the next movement is in your hands, else otherwise. Your force here is symbolic to your free will, and the speed of the stream is symbolic to what we blame on circumstances that life puts us in and the restrictions that life inflicts upon us.

Mahatma Gandhi one said - "Strength does not come from physical capacity it comes from indomitable will". Shimon Peres, a noble laureate referred to Gandhi in one of his interviews as - A man without an army, without a head quarter, without a state, without a party, a single person equipped with a moral strength, there is no other person in recent history who possessed such a strong will, and we all know,how he shocked the entire world with his actions !!

Unlike other creations, only the human beings are blessed with free will, within which lies our potential to shape and change our lives and make a difference. So I urge all of you to exercise your free will. If you are low on confidence, just because you happen to be an overweight fella, stop eating those not-so-healthy potato-chips and onion-pakodas by the road-side. Try to find time for some jogging. If possible, join a gym, do some workouts and try your level best to reduce your weight.If you are scared of public-speaking or sort on communication-skills, come and join Toast Masters. Remember, proper usage of free will beautifies and perfects, misuse of free will plunders and destroys. So use it judiciously, go out, be what you want and stun the world !!

Over to you Toastmaster !!
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Some of the content has been copied from Pavithra's Blog and most of the content about Jessica Cox has come from SlideShare

India - A Fake Democracy

2010-08-10T14:17:00.011+05:30

Often we pride ourselves with the fact that India is the largest democracy in the world. Theoretically, it is true, but practically, is there any democracy prevailing in India ?? Dear Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests, you might hold me guilty of being too cynical. But when I look around, I start having serious doubts, about the relevance and meaning of democracy in this country.

Abraham Lincoln rightly defined Democracy as, 'Government, of the people, for the people and by the people, shall not perish from the earth'. He was indeed very prophetic, for the government, where people have a major say in its working is bound to succeed and be popular. But does this definition hold good for Indian democracy ??

Is India really being governed by its people ?? A democracy means rule in accordance with the choice of the majority. While majority of our elected representatives are millionaires, close to 80% of our population still survive on less than one dollar per day. If you look at the statistics, these so-called people's representative holds approval of merely 10% of Indian mass. We project ourselves as a Young Country on world map with 70% of our population below 35 years, but two-thirds of our political-class are above 50. Some of them, including our prime-minister, are well above 70 and truly past their sell-by dates. But there is hardly any sign that they going to give way to younger generation.

Does the Indian government work for its people ?? When the entire country is reeling under double-digit inflation, we are still worried about fluctuating stock-market and Foreign Direct Investment in Insurance sector. Who cares about FDI in insurance sector, when thousands of children are dying of malnutrition every single day. When sugar-prices are shooting through the roof, our ministers are busy advising people How Reduced Consumption of Sugar is Good For Their Health. We want to ensure mobile connectivity to all parts of India, yet we don't have any plans to provide the poor with basic amenities like housing, food, water and electricity.

Is it a Government of the people ?? Three areas on Indian map stand out. Kashmir, North-East and Mineral-Rich Naxal-belts. We have tolerated 68,000 deaths in Kashmir over past couple of decades. We have a 700-thousand strong army calling the shots in valley, patrolling every single cordon. Even though, we have a democratically elected state-government, its powers are severely curbed by highly undemocratic laws like the Armed Forces Special Powers Act. To most Indians, North-eastern states are not even part of India. They feign ignorance, when quizzed about the problems faced by people belonging to these area. All of these states conduct elections and have installed democratically elected governments, yet all of them are policed by Indian Army. Can you imagine life being cut-off from outside world not for one day, one week, but for full 45 days ?? That's the plight of people belonging to one of the states in North-East, yet I don't see a single soul being moved. One third of India, mostly mineral rich forest land, is partially or completely under the control of Maoists, who have been left with no choice but to fight the mighty state to protect their dignity and freedom. We talk of having a society in peace, yet we are sending thousand and thousand of para-military forces to fight these so-called Maoist Insurgents. They have not descended from heaven, have they ?? They are nothing but our own people, the poor of the poorest. Yet we are trying our level best to annihilate them, if possible.

The pillars of democracy - Judiciary, Bureaucracy and Media are all in shambles and have failed miserably in performing their duties.

We have one of the lowest rate-of-conviction amongst all developing countries. In serious crimes, its merely 5 percent. There are cases, where our premier investigative agency have spent more than 30 years to investigate a genocide, but are yet to come up with a probe report. There are no signs either, of them completing the probe anytime soon. Our so-called fast-track courts take 5 cool years to deliver justice. We have more than 3 Crore cases pending in Indian courts. In some cases, poor people arrested on frivolous charges don't even get to see the light of Indian court-rooms and are left to die in prison, without ever being convicted. Yet, when it comes to resolving a billion-dollar family-dispute involving Ambani-brothers, the same judiciary settles it within months.

Our media houses are more like corporate houses running after money and TRPs rather than following the 9is of investigative journalism. If a techie commits suicide, that is flashed as a breaking news. We have 10 farmers committing suicides every-day in Maharashtra, yet we see none of it being covered by Indian press. How many times you have noticed our media-houses busy covering a celebrity marriage and irrelevant news-items, side-stepping serious issues, which matter to public. When close to 1 lakh people died of flood in Bihar, we only had head-lines of it, but when an innocuous bomb-blast happens in Bangalore, supposedly the beehive of talented yet selfish IT-Professionals, media-houses make a beeline covering it. Media is living in a state of falsehood, reporting only the shallow exterior of face of nation and silently ignoring the dark underbelly.

About our bureaucracy less said the better. Its full of inept and corrupt civil servants, whose only aim is to earn more and more money by hook or crook. We have close to 50% leakage in all our government schemes, most of which have been converted into a honeypot around which these corrupt people have flocked. According to a World-Bank-Survey, out of 183 countries across the globe, India ranks 133, when it comes to ease of doing business. Even our troubled Jihad-affected neighbourhood country Pakistan is ranked 85, a cool 50 places above us, all thanks to this big-red-tape called Indian Democracy.

Should we still call India as the largest democracy in the world ?? I have my own doubts. To me, it looks more like a oligarchy, disguised as democracy. At best, Indian democracy is in a state of emergency, urgently seeking attention of its people. If you stand at Greater Kailash in Delhi, it may look like a democracy, but if you go to Dantevada or Vidarbha, its anything but democracy.

Over to you Toastmaster.

PS: This was my P2 speech@ PBC Orators Toastmasters Session, which fetched me the Best Prepared Speaker Award :-)

Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya Dream

2010-08-09T23:41:00.005+05:30

It was mid of May. A tiny little girl, about 10 years old, was sitting with her friend Jyoti under a small cottage. It was built in the middle of a mango orchard in a remote village in North Bihar called Jagatpur. This non-descript village came under the very district Supaul,which attained nation-wide-media-coverage few months ago owing to the devastating floods, dubbed as a national calamity by our own prime-minister Dr. Manmohan Singh (Or should I say glorified care-taker of a real PM sitting in 10, Janpath !!)

The only middle-school that was existing in this village was founded by our own Chacha Nehru during his hay-days. Although, he never came back to found another one. The end result ?? Even now there was no intermediate school in and around the radius of 10 k.m from this village !!

Here is how the conversation goes

Small Girl: My friend, Do you know today it will be decided whether I would be a special girl or a simple ordinary girl?? I do not know what God is going to do with me ??

Jyoti: Why ? what will happen today?

Small Girl: My father went to Supaul(near by town) to see my Navodaya entrance result.

Jyoti was somewhat bemused at this question of her friend. Apparently, she was thinking that since she already belongs to a socially affluent and financially well-off family in this village, this girl is already destined to succeed. Oh.. By the way Jyoti has never got a chance to attend any school !!

Jyoti: If you would pass your exam then what will happen?

Small girl:You do not know,it will change my life dramatically.it will be like I would go to heaven from hell.Please pray to God for my result.You know very well there is not a single good school in Supaul district except Navodaya(just to add, its a free govt school with all facilities including Fooding,lodging and all your academic expenses). Papa will not allow me to go to Patna because first thing that I am too young a girl to go outside. Secondly, our family won't be able to afford the hefty cost of my stay in a decent hostel.

Jyoti: You do not worry, you will surely get your goal.

Looks like God was also listening to this conversation, after all he is ubiquitous, isn't he ?? So God answered to the pray of these two little girls. We could see Papa coming towards her. Even though he was far off, we could see a great smile written all over his face(Probably he is not that good at hiding his emotions and so he was not at all able to hide a wide-grin). At that very moment, the girl I knew she got through it, yes she got it !!

Papa: Hey,dear do you know today you fulfilled my dream.I was not at all expecting it from you because you were looking youngest among all other students sitting in navodaya examination hall. Today its your day. You have made me and this village proud. Tell me, what do you want ?? Whatever you want, you can ask for, anything !! Today I am really very happy for you.

Small girl: I am also too happy.I want to do what you never allowed me to do. You never allowed me to take bath in pumping set water with my village girl friends. I want to do it please papa. This is what I want as my reward.

Papa: Ok dear. As you wish, I am sure you could have asked for more. Today you can do whatever you want.

Small girl: Thank you papa,You are so sweet.

AFTER ONE MONTH

The D-Day finally arrives and everybody from girl's family is inside the school-campus. The girl sees a very big school in front of her eyes,it was really like her dream school and she just stood there, looking all around, trying to let the feeling of accomplishment sink-inside. She was very fascinated with the fact that she is going to be part of school's hostel, where there will be a proper routine and school dress. Almost everybody from girl's family was crying profusely at the thoughts of being separated from this charming girl. Even her father's eyes were full of tears. But she was too naive to understand those high-emotions running through. Almost oblivious of all these happenings, she just goes ahead and starts running towards hostel gate like a horse and then returns back with equal speed. She does this round few times. Finally its time for her parents to leave. She looks back only once at her parents and siblings and swings her hand to say good-bye to them, before disappearing in the crowd of new students, all lined up to join the school on that very day.

This episode was shot at a time, when parents all over Bihar were so fascinated to Navodaya Vidyalayas. A typical middle-class family was not having any choice for their children, except Navodaya.

Thanks Navodaya.Thanks for all that you have provided. You provided the turning point when a girl stepped outside from the village and got a change to "Go, Kiss The World". We are not sure, if anything can be done to revive its fortune and flagging health in wake of mushrooming english-medium private-schools and people's obsession about these schools. But We owe our life, our success to you,Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya Supaul !!

PS: I tried three times for Navodaya examinations impersonating as three different students :-) First time as Suman Kumar, Second time as Sumanjee and Third time as Suman Saurabh. But I was deemed not-good-enough for Navodaya Vidyalaya. But that doesn't stop me from admiring it, though !!

Ravan's Three Wishes

2010-07-16T06:01:00.000+05:30

I have been thinking of writing a blog covering this very topic "Ravan's Wish-List" for so long that before I could realize, my planning had already gone on for about 9 months. Just proves that I am a very good planner and equally bad, when it comes to execution :)

This thought crept into my mind around 9 months ago, when I was going to get my head shaven. In most parts of India, its a custom to do so in Hindu families, as a mark of respect for any deceased family-member on his death-anniversary. In my case, it was my grand-father, who breathed his last 4 years ago, leaving us all alone with a never-to-be-filled-again void in the family.

It was a huge loss to us. I had lost my story-teller. I still find it hard to believe that he had not even cleared Standard X and yet he possessed so much of knowledge that he could spellbind the entire village just by his narration of trivially simple events. Be it Baital Pachhisi, Stories from Mahabharat, Panch Tantra, Ramayana, Singhasan Battisi or even a simple journey from our village to a nearby town on a bullock-cart. He was a master-piece at stories and according to him stories, if told in a proper way, was a very good medium for imparting one's gyan onto next generation. If you only preach, people will not be able to relate to what you are saying. How true ??

Dadaji, we miss you a lot. I wish you could have stayed with us for some more time. If you had been alive, our family would have been in a lot better position than it is currently. This piece of mine is dedicated to him, the most knowledgeable uneducated person that I will ever come across in my life.

Its believed that when Ram finished with his war with Ravana(not to mention the little help from Ravan's own brother Vibhishan, without which I strongly doubt, if Ram could ever have killed Ravana), he was still alive. So when the dust settled down and everything subsided, Ram suggested Laxman to go to Ravan and take some lessons and acquire some knowledge. I am sure Ram also rated Ravana very very highly, he was that kind of intellectual. Even God couldn't afford to ignore him.

Laxman decides to go to Ravan, who is injured and almost counting his last breathe. He goes there and makes his intention clear that he had come here to gain some knowledge from him. Ravan refuses to oblige and tells him to go back. Laxman, feeling somewhat insulted, goes back to Ram and tells him what transpired between them, when he went to seek knowledge from Ravan.

Ram(well aware of Laxman's hotheadedness and arrogance): Anuj Laxman, there must be some reason, why Ravan didn't entertain you.
Laxman : I can't think of any ??
Ram : When you had gone there, where did you seat ??
Laxman : Next to his head Bhaiya, where-else I could have sat ??
Ram : Now I know, why he rightfully refused to oblige you.
Laxman : Why ??
Ram : When you go to seek someone's blessings, you always do so, by kneeling in front of them, or at least sitting next to their feet. You have not done that, my brother. You ought to pay enough respect to a great warrior and scholar, that is Ravan.
Laxman(realising his mistake): Ok, you are right. I made a blunder. Now let me go back to rectify it.
Ram: Sure, best of luck !!

Laxman goes back again and follows what Ram had advised him. Ravana duly obliges him and imparts all the knowledge, that he acquired in his life-time, to Laxman,whatever he could. When he is done with KT (A terminology coined by software-industry, meaning knowledge-transfer between an experienced pro and an amateur. Unfortunately, more often than not, this takes places ONLY WHEN an attrition takes place or a veteran decides to hang up his boots), he tells Laxman that he has some unfinished business and its his long-cherished dream to get them accomplished before he dies.

Laxman: What are those ?? I am sure Maryada Purushottam Ram should be able to get them done. After all, he is nobody but Lord himself !!

Ravan: Well, I hope so.. I couldn't get following three things done during my life-time.

Ravan was well aware of the problems farmers face, when heavens don't co-operate with them and they end up with a poor yield. So he wanted rain to be at discretion of individual . Every time, somebody felt that they needed water for irrigation, they would just call up Devraj Indra and he will have to oblige them with rain.

While this may sound ridiculous to us, even today, when we are talking of declaring India a developed nation, our GDP growth-rate relies heavily on nothing but a good monsoon !!
He must have seen the agony and trauma, an old father faces, when he loses his young son. So he wanted to ensure that if a father is alive, his son would never die in front of him. How practical ??

Well, not really. Ravan never envisaged sons deserting their parents, come what may. Unfortunately, that has become a norm nowadays. In some cases, even if they are alive, they are dead for all practical purposes. I have this software friend of mine, who can be seen constantly praying for the day, when his parents are going to die, so that he can sell off all farm lands in his village and buy a home in Bangalore. There are cases, when they have settled abroad or in one of high-paying job in a Metro, but when it comes to looking after their parents, they turn a blind eye, though occasionally they can be seen on an NRI-style visit holding mineral water bottles and carrying laptop on their back. If Ravan had been alive, he surely would have felt disappointed at these happenings.
He also knew that people always longed going to Swarg, so he wanted to build a ladder to Swarg, so that any one willing to go to Swarg, could do so at his will, not at Yamraj's mercy.

Well, it may be debatable whether it holds any relevance in Kaliyug, when everyone seems destined to hell. But looking at the litany of people(belonging to all age-groups and from all walks of life) standing outside Venkateshwara Temple, on the occasion of Baikunth Ekadasi, and that too in scorching sun, I started wondering, do people still long for heaven ??

After Ravan died, Lord Krishna presided over this world during Dwapar Yuga. He couldn't do anything about them. After Krishna went, Kali arrived. But even today Ravan's last three wishes stand unfulfilled !!

Icebreaker Speech @ Toastmasters

2010-05-17T17:18:00.000+05:30

Mother Teresa once said "Life is an opportunity, benefit from it".

Dear Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests,

Life is indeed an opportunity gifted to us by God. In another 5 minutes time, you will get to know, how I made the most of it.

I was born and brought in Supaul, a non-descript remote place in North Bihar. I come from a very humble background, all of my relatives except my father were uneducated farmers. When I descended on earth, my family was in a state of struggle financially, because my father didn't had a job. But soon after my arrival, he got one in state government. People took it as a message from God and instantly I was their lucky-mascot. Unaware of all this attention bestowed upon, I grew up quietly in my village.

I didn't had any schooling till standard V. Whatever I learned during that period, I owe it to my mother. While my father was busy settling into his government office, she was the one, who taught me everything, be it science, maths or english(whatever little she knew). She wanted to see me become a Bada Aadmi, make her proud and be a role-model for the entire village.

When I finally got a chance to join middle-school at standard VI, I noticed that class-rooms didn't look as fancy as it used to appear in books. There were no benches, no desks. All we had was this huge-room without any roof and all of us would be sitting on floor doing our bit, while the sole-teacher in the school was busy multiplexing across different classes. I used to carry a plastic cement-bag-cover every day to school. It used to serve two purposes, it was meant for sitting inside class-room and at the same time, in absence of an umbrella, it also used to serve as a rain-coat during rainy seasons !! But I never complained about this nor the fact that I had to walk 2 kilometres every day to the school. In fact I made the most of it, being a topper throughout my school.

After finishing schools, I got into a +2 college in the same-place. After two not-so-eventful years, I had finished +2 as well. Now I didn't know what to do, nor did my parents. Most of my relatives suggested preparation for clerical-jobs, but I had this friend of mine, who knew all along that I was meant for bigger things in my life. He suggested me to go to Patna and prepare for IIT entrace exams. That's was the first time, I heard this word IIT and I got terribly excited@ the prospect of being an engineer, I had no idea about IITs, but I somehow wanted to do it !!

That's how I reached Patna, the first time, I went outside my district on a train !! Life in Patna was not easy, I had to do everything on my own,be it cooking, washing clothes, cleaning utensils. But I knew there is no gain without pain. So I just gave IIT my best-shot and to everyone's(including myself) amazement, I had cracked it with a three-digit rank. Here again, I had made the most of my meager resources !!

I opted for Computer science in IIT Kharagpur, even though I hadn't even touched a computer till then. In fact, I was so ignorant of computers that on being asked "What would you do, if you have internet an your hostel-room", my answer was I will download a CD-Writer and a CPU, as they are very expensive !!

When I went there and saw convent-educated english-medium students all over, I knew I was in for a hard-time. I was nothing but a frog, who had just came out of its well and will quickly be found wanting. And that's exactly what happened. Despite my best efforts, I languished at the bottom in my class. Before I could realize, I was into my 4th year and placement season was ON. Even though I was lacking horribly in communication skills, I knew I was not too bad technically, so I was quietly confident. So when God gave me a chance, I made the most of it and got placed into Cognizant Systems.

My first job took me to Chennai and believe it or not, this was the best thing that happened to me. I started talking fluently in English, something I had not done all my life. No body in my circle knew Hindi and it was a blessing in disguise. I knew this was my last chance to learn English and improve upon my communication-skills and that's what I did !! I made the most of my short-stay in Chennai and I got into Oracle with my newly acquired skills.

Not everybody is born with a silver-spoon. God is not an idiot, he consistently creates these wonderful characters, who come out of nowhere and make a lasting impression on our minds, not for months not for days, not for weeks but for years and generations along.

From somebody who gave his lab-vivas in Hindi to someone, who is now speaking in front of a software audience; From somebody who couldn't distinguish between hardware and software@ age of 18 , to someone who is a star performer in a Fortune 100 software company, I surely have come a long way. Yes, I made the most of my life. With that note, Friends, I would call it a day and like you to introspect, whether you have made the most of this opportunity, that is life. Thank You.

PS: This speech fetched be Best Prepared Speaker in yesterday's toastmaster session :)

Joke Of The Day Continued ...

2010-05-13T02:32:00.000+05:30

While the CJI was retiring on 12th May, finally admitting something inconvenient, we knew all along, after being in denial-mode throughout his stay, somewhere else, something significant was happening. In hot unforgiving summer in Bihar, justice was being delivered. Yes, Justice, albeit of a different kind.

Somebody, who has slogged tirelessly for past 25 years, not for money, but for pride, was duly rewarded, when he got promoted to the next level. It was not easy. He was arguably the most honest of all sarkari baboos. Being the only knowledgeable engineer at your work-place has its own share of troubles. He was always kept busy with all sorts of works that could be "expected" out of a honest government official.

At times, he loved all the attention he received, as his technical acumen was widely acknowledged and appreciated by all. But little did he knew that he was being forced into a honey-trap. While he worked as hard as he could, before his spinal chord deceived him, severely denting his productivity, not his intelligence though, his colleagues were busy buttering higher-echelon officials. He didn't know the dirty tricks that are so badly needed to grow in a government setup. He gave it all, he had, thinking that his due rewards will reach him sooner than later, but unfortunately it never reached. In stead, most of his colleagues, who used to get all things done in the name of friendship, leapfrogged him to higher ranks. And he was left with nothing, but what he was good at...Hard and Honest Work From A Government Official with 110% dedication !!

But then you can not delay the inevitable. After delaying his files for so-long, there came a moment of redemption, when saw a new commander-in-chief being installed at the helm of affairs. He was perhaps the only person, who thought of this engineer, as someone, who has been denied his due honours for so long and now was the time to restore parity. He instructed all the party involved(including the engineer himself), made sure his files got cleared in time with all his records updated favourably. So here we are, seeing this engineer as a Sub-Divisional-Office !!

My heartiest congratulations to this engineer, who has been a role-model, not just for me, but for an entire village. I am sure, there must have been many more engineers before and there will be many more like him in future, But he was, he still is and will always be remembered as Engineer Sahab aka Hakim. A rare talent, who was good at, almost everything he could lay his hands upon. A true genius...

PS: The aforementioned person, who got this well-deserved judgement after being denied justice for so long, is no one but my father Shree Bandhu Nath Jha !!

Joke Of The Day

2010-05-11T05:49:00.001+05:30

Thought(read Joke) of the day :)

Corruption in judiciary 'minuscule': CJI
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/corruption-in-judiciary-miniscule-cji/114971-3.html?from=tn

I am sure he is living in a fools' paradise(now that he is retiring, he can probably afford to do so and be ignorant of the underlying hole, entire judiciary process finds itself in). In my humble opinion he could very well be fooling the people of this country, when he says that corruption in judiciary is minuscule.

Look at the way, they allowed Reddy Brothers to get away with their misdoings, even though it was obvious to one and every body that they were involved in illegal mining operations. You yourself are part of jury, who granted the exemption, Sir.

The apex court, however, clarified that
--

Mining operations by OMC should be carried out only in the undisputed area of the lease granted by the Karnataka government and would have to be stopped if the Survey of India says so.

--

This makes me laugh even more, because who on earth is going to monitor, what part of land they are going to mine ?? When state borders are non-existent, who will keep a tab on them ?? Won't it be just the same, as it used to be ?? Bottom-line is Reddy brothers have just got away with their sin and as a matter-of-fact got an endorsement of sorts from Apex court, so that they can hold a "press-conference" to claim that they have been vindicated by this Apex court judgement and it was nothing but a "political-conspiracy" to defame them !!

CJI himself has not come clean on cash-at-door scam and one wonders how on earth he allowed Nirmal Yadav to get away with her misdoings. How about Justice Dinakaran, who has amassed millions, if not billions, worth of illegal property. Any comments except for withdrawing his nomination ?? Who recommended his name for elevation in the first place ?? How about Justice Ajit Prakash ?? Any idea, why he warmed the benches forever, but never made it to Supreme Court, despite being one of the finest judges in the country ?? And eventually he retired on 20th Feb after being denied elevation to the apex court. Many eminent jurists had forwarded his name for elevation to the Supreme Court, but the deciding collegium was not moved, I wonder why ?? May be you had a personal score to settle with him, as he was the one who passed landmark judgement of bringing your office under the Right to Information Act.

No one is going to miss you Sir, you were past of the judiciary panel that passed the so-called landmark OBC reservation bill, creating a ruckus in the society to somehow belong to OBC/SC-ST category by hook-or-crook (Gujjar community is just one of the examples). When you yourself are hell-bent on implementing reservation, who are we to blame politicians, who talk of reservation almost@ drop of a hat. You only instruct them to follow your guidelines of not crossing the 50% barrier while implementing reservations.. That too has been violated in various states(tamil nadu being one of them) . When you reign supreme(or rather claim to be) why can't you preserve your own dignity ?? By passing this reservation act,You have not only given an ammunition in people'(read politicians) hands but also set a dangerous precedent , which tells politicians that go ahead with your quota/reservation bills, when appeal reached us, we will pass it in the name of social-equality and social justice... Coming up next will be minority-reservations, So your services will again be sought-over,Sir. But I am glad that you would not be around by then :)

And let me put it to you very bluntly, you can't defend yourself behind this argument of restricting reservation only to persons who are not belonging to creamy-layer. I used to have a friend in IIT(lost touch with him after coming to Bangalore, but I can still claim to be his friend any day), whose father used to own 2-3 cinema halls and many shops in Calcutta and yet he didn't belong to creamy-layer !! Well, I have also heard from unreliable sources that you are going to revise it from 1.5 lakh to 4.5 lakh. Well, when nearly 80 Percent of India lives On Half Dollar A Day, which translates to ~ 9K Rupees, yes nine thousand Rupees , Sir ?? How are you going to justify capping it to 4.5 lakh ?? Truth is only those communities, who are earning in upper-brackets can take (or rather already taking) advantage of reservation, rest all are as ignorant to it, as a software engineer,sitting in his A/C office sipping coffee in huge-gulps, is to a farmer suicide happening in Vidarbha !!

Went slightly off-topic. Can't help, reservation is one topic which is close to my heart, so no surprises there. Coming back to your interview, according to you
--
No politician would like to come and meet a judge because he would be in trouble if the judge exposes him.
--

Look at what Justice Murthy did ?? After creating a sensation of sorts by revealing how a union-minister called him up and tried talking to him(read bribing),Did he really "expose" any one ?? Does any one know, who the minister was ??(All media speculation points towards telecom minister A.Raja), but did he had the guts or will to come out in open and name the minister ?? Was he scared ?? If this is what you call an expose, then I am sure expose word will mean a somersault !!

You transferred Dinakaran to Sikkim high-court and Nirmal Yadav to Uttarakhand high-court ?? In stead of "transferring" judges, why can't you take stricter action ?? Don't blame corrupt politicians as to having an influence on judiciary process, the judiciary itself is clearly hand in gloves with them and then plays victim in front of Indian public, claiming it to be made of ice.

Good Joke CJI :) You just livened up the proceeding at my work-place. Had some real fun writing this blog in reaction to your confessions :)

PS: It all started with a comment-posting on the aforementioned ibnlive article, but for some reason, they refused to publish it. Although at the time of posting they had warned me "Comments will be published only after moderation", I didn't thought for a moment that my comments will go against the rules-n-regulations laid down by them. Anyway, no RTI can be employed here :) So can't say as to why they did that.

That's when I decided to pen down my thoughts in form a blog. I call it a rapid blog, as I penned it down in ~ 15-20 minutes :) Hope you enjoy reading it !!

Sick Of Being Sick

2010-03-25T13:49:00.000+05:30

One of the major problem with being sick is that people around you will make you feel more sick by giving sickening advises. Almost every Tom Dick and Harry has an opinion or two about your sickness. Opinions or should I say root-cause-analysis of your diseases, down to minute details.

Here are some of them, that I have been suggested rather bombarded with

o I know why you have been suffering from this disease..See your life-style, Man. You wake up at 10, go to bed at 2..what is this ?? (I suppose he himself follows a similar routine, but he still manages to find fault with this routine. Someone should inform him that you should only preach, what you practice !!

o Look at your job profile, man..You job is mostly a passive assignment, sitting in the same position almost throughout the day, with absolutely no physical activity.. You should join some Gym or some exercising club, where they would teach you, how to build strong biceps and muscle (I am not sure, what I am going to do with these n-pack abs). My friend gives these (un)friendly advices with full knowledge that I have been suffering from a muscle-disease for about 1 and 1/2 months, due to which I can't even hold a water-bottle with my right hand !! So how on earth, I was going to do weight-lifting !!

o Stop taking tea...Tea is the root-cause of all diseases. Look at me, I used to take tea and as a result, I used to suffer from lot of problems(Somewhat curiously he couldn't remember any of them !!). Now that I have stopped it, all those problems are done. Later on, I came to know that he had moved on beyond tea and started gulping coffee !!

o Try Yoga man..Based on my personal experiences, all vein related problems can surely be cured by Baba Ramdev's yoga...Yesterday, I saw it live on Astha Channel, how he miraculously cured an 80 years old lady, who was unable to move he hand. Just search it on YouTube and you will see. I promptly searched on YouTube and couldn't find any such video. Had this alleged miracle happened,It would have been surely there !!

o Take cold milk, man. Give it a try, you will not regret it. My friend went on claiming that when he was suffering from a bout of peptic ulcer, cold-milk, not real medicines, is what cured him. So this will help you recover from your your disease as well(BTW, I have been advised by my doctor to stay low on protein !!)

o Try some other alternatives like Ayurveda or Homeopathy or even Unanii. Take my words, these methods work, even when all else(read Allopathy) fails !! Just give it a shot, Man. Who knows, you may get cured.

And the list goes on and on.... I have almost lost count of them..I thought for a while and realized that when God decided to provide two ears to Humans, he surely made accommodation for such cases. So I started following the formula In One Ear Out the Other :-)

PS: Finally my orthopedician@Manipal Hospitals were able to diagnose my disease (it turns out to be Tenosynovitis). They figured out a way and after being bed-ridden for close to 2 weeks, now I am on my way to complete recovery, even without these aforementioned "friendly advices" !!

Saturday Dance

2010-01-23T14:44:00.000+05:30

This is a story during one of 1st year freshers' parties in one of Bangalore's prominent colleges. Hope no authorities are reading this, I may end up being behind bars (After all Ragging n Freshers' Parties are all banned and in Supreme Court's eye, even non-bailable offences, warranting at least a hefty fine, if not college expulsion)

A freshers' party is being planned in one of bangalore most-flavoured pubs. Tickets are already been booked(Juniors don't even have a clue about this party). Seniors have already emptied their pockets shelling out money for these tickets. Now the only thing they need to do is push their favourate juniors to come to the party(mind you its going to be a dutch affair), so they not only have to persuade the junior to join the party, but also have to get them pay the amount of money for their entry-fee. Here is one such conversation straight out of a junior-hostel-room

Rancho: Hey you know, we have organized a freshers' party for you and your entire batch is coming(plain lie, even he knows only 100 tickets have been booked and needless to say, batch strength is way more than 100). So you need to be there.

Shashtri: But sir, we have classes every day.

Rancho: I knew it, you Moron. You people will make an excuse out of it, not to come to party. So we have organized it on Saturday evening. Anyway you will be having classes only till 1 pm and party starts in the evening.

Shashtri: Ok, fine..but what will I do sir ??

Rancho: Do whatever you feel like doing...No stopping...booze,eat,dance,masti... what else you want from a party ?? Fosters,Vodka, Rum..You name it and it will be made available..You have chicken, prawn, fish, mutton everything you want..Plus the DJ is very good, haven't you heard of this fellow Salman..He is too good a DJ (I am sure even Rancho would have heard this name for the first time in his life, but only God know, how he got to know about this DJ being " too good").. Drinks will be made absolutely free of cost and that too unlimited..what else you need, Dude ??

Shashtri: But sir, I don't drink..Why should I go ??

Rancho(somewhat disappointed):
Ok, I understand you don't drink. But you can have chickens and prawns.. Haven't you heard of this restaurant' recipes. Almost every bangalorean knows about it.

Shashtri: Ok agreed sir, I would have loved being there trying out these non-veg dishes, but unfortunately I don't non-veg on Saturday.. Its against our rituals and dharma.

Rancho:(seemingly frustated with the excuse-list gradually piling up) Don't worry, if you can't eat non-veg. You can still try vegetable dishes.I am sure you will love vegeterian dishes there..Its veg dishes are famous all over bangalore (Rancho himself is a non-vegeterian and he never had these so-called famous veg-dishes even once !!, but he still tries his level best selling it to his Junior)..

Shashtri: Sorry sir, there is no point in going there.. I will be plainly bored being there (In his eyes, he seems to have been convinced Rancho that its worthless for him being in the party) I won't drink nor I can eat non-veg on Saturday..

Rancho: (almost angry and at the same time helpless)
Are you sure, you don't want to come ??

Shashtri: Yes, sir.. (You could see the grin on his face, only if he could remember the Ragging-time fundae that Senior is always right and above you and its impossible to put them down)..Poor chap..

Rancho(here comes the master-stroke):
But you can at least dance on Saturday, Right ?? Its not against any (damn) ritual or Dharma ?? (you could sense the winning smile on this face)

Shashtri, seeming flattened by this knock-out punch from his Senior, is left completely speechless. Unfortunately he has no more arguments to support his cause..He had lost this war of words..

He has no option but to accept the invitation and pay Rancho the entry-fee. Rancho pats him on the back and says: Do come for the party, you will enjoy like never before (I really doubt, if he really meant those words..Now that he has sold the ticket, he can rest in peace, right ?? After all, he has recovered the amount, he had spent..Who cares, whether Shashtrij is coming to the party or not ??)

Two days later, Shashtri turns up for the party, all geared up to extract full-value out of his entry-fees. He drinks more than any one else and also went against his rituals and consumed so much chicken on D-day that even after a week, people could smell chicken in hostel-toilets !!

Overdose Of Reality

2009-04-19T15:06:00.000+05:30

Of late, I have been going through what can rightfully be termed as an "Overdose of Reality", Coming to terms with the fact how harsh the outside world can be and it indeed is. But I must thank my stars and above all almighty that I got it at probably the most opportune moment. When I was down and out - down with a severely torn ligament and out of action for close to a month already having had my left leg plastered.

Well, down-and-out I may be, agreed, I have no hesitation in admitting that I needed a kick up my arse very badly, probably one of a KO punch proportion and precisely that's what I have got :)

As Steve Jobs rightly puts it across in one of his interviews, post his ignominious exit from Apple, the very company he founded in a garage with few of his college-friends, in one of his unauthorized auto-biography "iCon" - "Sometimes you don't get what you want, you only get what you need" and believe me that's exactly what has happened with me too !! So probably I shouldn't feel too disheartened with all these happenings surrounding me.

After all Steve Jobs himself has gone through it and didn't he came back with a vengeance in a brilliant second-act in business-world, witnessed once-in-a-generation ?? I sure can weather this storm and come out of it with flying colour with my self-image enhanced and an increased focus towards my personal and professional life and most importantly moving towards fulfilling all my long-cherished dreams, which have not quite turned into nightmares yet(Touch Wood !!).

So no complains, only a note of Thanks. Thanks to all, who "helped" me during this tough time of mine. Thanks to all who made me realize that I was leading a rudderless life, aimlessly drifting every now and then and willing to buck to any pressure almost at-the-drop-of-a-hat and not-at-all willing to come out of my comfort-zone.O Lord, please bestow your blessings, in whatever way you can, onto all those individuals, who have helped me realize my self which is worth much-more than what my current belief stands at and helped me come out of a situation where I was sitting pretty on my past laurels, complacent with my current position being comfortably placed in a Fortune-100 Company (This company at-times may put government-offices to shame when it comes to work by few of its not-so-productive-yet-thriving employees)

This episode has further strengthened my belief in God and more so in Geeta, as one of Geeta's verse says "Whatever happens to you is not without a strong reason and God doesn't do anything with anyone unknowingly"

Hello World from WordPress

2009-04-06T00:54:00.000+05:30

Here comes my first blog on Wordpress. And Wordpress has been smart enough to name my first posting as 'Hello World' just like any programming language has been naming(and will alwaye be doing so in future) its first program as helloworld !! No wonder, WordPress is proclaimed to be better than its rival BlogSpot by its ardent fans all over the world, I am yet to verify those claims though !!

Although I am not new to blogging, having been the owner of a blog which has witnessed some not-so-bad writings from me over past 4 years, albeit in a stop-start fashion. Ever since I turned Pro after graduating from one of India's premier colleges IIT Kharagpur with a B.Tech(H) from Computer Science and Engg, I have been fascinated towards English-writings, more so towards anything Angrezi. This has more to do with the fact that I did virtually nothing when it came to enhancing my language-credentials during my 4 years long-stay in IIT campus. But due to my lethargy (They mayn't accept it openly, but all software engineers are lazy by default, probably justifying an old proverb "one of programer's virtue is laziness") I have not been able to do so on a consistent basis. But If you still find enough reasons to be interested in my bits-and-pieces posts, you can always find them @http://www.sumansays.blogspot.com/

A word of Caution: Please lower your expectations to rock-bottom, you may very well feel disappointed after paying a visit to my blog, which in my humble opinion, can be classified along side some of average blog-postings you will find almost anywhere on the web writings. You may be one of those who beg to differ, but probably my magnum-opus (so far) has beenhttp://sumansays.blogspot.com/2005/04/story-of-iit-kgp-computer-science.html(I am sure this post will form an interesting read for you. If not, I am more than just willing to receive those brickbats of yours. Feel free to shout and voice your opinions by providing appropriate comments !!)

Although after spending 4 and half years in India's golden-goose flagship software industry, I would be the first one to admit (I am sure there are many more in my friend-circle and my relatives alike who also feel the same way) that I have failed to justify my talents especially after being allowed to function as a one-man-army at my work, as opposed to one-amongst-the-few pawns in a big-team. Being dubbed as an IITian and that too from computer science stream, has already handed me over a distinct advantage over my contemporaries, but I have failed to make the most of opportunities that have landed my way and trust me they were aplenty.

As Kishore Biyani, the undisputed Raja of India's Organized Retail Revolution, rightly puts it in his book ''It Happened In India'" , An opportunity that knocks at your door, may not be there forever and by the time you pull up your socks and set out to chase your dreams, time may very well have turned its tide !! Well as they say, its never too late for anything, but only time will tell whether I have already missed the train to my success !!

PS: This is my first blog on WordPress :-)

In Memory Of My Mitra Akhil

2009-03-13T02:16:00.000+05:30

Pappa, Pappa. See, I have written a small story, said a kid, about 6-7 year old, so excited at his work, that he is almost shouting, as if he made a discovery of 'Eureka Proportion'

Father replied with a cheering tone, Good, very good !!

Don't you want me to read out its content ?? Kid asks his father

Which language its written in, he asks, seemingly unconcerned about the content

Its written in Hindi Pappa, came the reply.

Hindi !! exclaimed the father. As he starts developing 'that' heavy-headed-feeling, he goes down on his knees, holding his head with both his hands.

What happened Pappa, Anything wrong ?? Are you not feeling well ?? A somewhat worried kid rushes to his father.

As he hugs his son, father says, No, no, I am OK, son. But I am having headache because of your writings. Can't you write in any language other than Hindi,Son ?? Don't you know about the current state of our "Mother-Tongue" Hindi in our own country ?? Do you still want to lead a miserable life of a hindi poet/writer just like Varmajee, BuchhiBabu and SinhaSahab did, after endorsing Hindi all their lives.

PS: This is a shameless ripoff of a similar story originally written in Maithili by one of my true friends, AkhilAnand aka Praveenjee. Just substitute Hindi in place of English and Maithili in place of Hindi, you almost have his version. I remember his story bit-by-bit, even though more than a decade has passed by since I last met him(Thanks to God for gifting me with a not-so-bad memory) . So no credit to me for this blog, please, except for the translation-part !!

Downloading the CPU !!

2009-03-13T00:38:00.001+05:30

I am Back !! Well, almost !! (Not sure how many of you have been waiting for this day)

I will be the first one to admit (albeit a bit hesitantly) that I myself have been a silent spectator to my own blog,which was written nearly four years ago with such an enthusiasm and which somehow managed to attract rave review comments from its few-and-far-between readers. Plenty of water has passed by under the bridge, ever since I started blogging. Back then, I wanted to prove a point to some of my critics that despite being a solid Bihari (no mixing-up with other state cultures) coming from an all-Hindi background I was still good enough to write and write good in English. Now situation is a lot different and I have (probably) nothing to prove in terms of my language credentials, having been able to survive , rather thrive , in the corporate environment for more than 4 years and I am sure you will agree, communication (oral as well as written) plays a significant role in your career-growth.

Even though I have been leading a decent life(At times painfully-slow in terms of monetary and professional gains) during this time-period, few of my friends (most notably Ritu and dear friend Shivraj) have told there are still enough ebb-and-flow moments in my life, warranting a documentation of sorts. So after deliberating for a while, I decided, probably its high time I should resurrect my blog. So here is a piece directly from my old college days

A normal chit-o-chat is going on inside the class-room. I have been a witness to so many of them being a back-bencher all my life. We are in the middle of a 5 minute break, guaranteed to provide some sort of respite to helpless students, who are preparing themselves to tolerate their not-so-favourate teacher for next one hour. The teachor himself is busy, sipping a full cup-of-tea during the break and occasionally going through the cheat-sheet that he brought along with him, when he entered inside the class-room. All I could make out of this conversation is "Internet is coming at door-steps of each and every individual" staying inside the campus, goes without saying only those chaps who already own a PC :). Trust me there are not many falling outside this class..After all only a fool would say no to an opportunity of buying his life's first Personal Computer at half its original price (half of the cost was to be generously borne out by its rich Alumnus members and two of the PSU banks, having branches inside the campus, are more than willing to finance the rest-half)

Ever since this news broke out inside the campus, this has been the talk of the town, finding mention almost everywhere, be it inside the institute-campus, hostel-wings, class-rooms, college-canteens and even during defecation in toilets, when students patiently wait in a queue for their turn (You may find it surprising, but back then we didn't had too many of them, probably 1 or 2 per floor accommodating about 30 odd students)

Here is a verbatim script of this conversation which lasted about a minute of so.

Rajesh: You know within 2-3 weeks time all of us should be able to access internet sitting inside our rooms.

Suman: Really !! (He is probably unaware of WWW mystery and find this hoopla surrounding computers and more specifically Internet, somewhat amusing.Since he hadn't had any encounter with a computer key-board till date, We forgive him for his naivety.

Abhi: Yes, I also heard that from some of my seniors who are involved in this project, that it will be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days an year.

Rajesh: WoW !! This is unbelievable. Life will be so easy for us with internet at our doorsteps, wouldn't it be ?? No more standing in the queue outside CIC(Computer and Informatics Centre) rooms, waiting for guys to hang up inside(who are busy doing all sorts of unproductive things that you could possible do with Internet)

Abhi: Haan, we should be able to download and play our favourte songs, softwares we always wanted our computers to be loaded with, newspapers/magazines (including archives) we wish could be available to us anytime we feel like reading, computer games that always fascinated us.

Rajesh: Yes, the only thing missing from our armoury would be a CD-Writer. If we can have that, we will have almost everything in our arsenal.

Suman: Are Kuchh nahin, Internet rahega to CD-Writer bhee download kar lenge (Nothing to worry about folks. If we have internet, we should be able to download a CD-Writer from Web !!)

Abhi: Haan aab tum kuchh dinon mein CPU bhee internet se download karna (In few days time, you go ahead and download CPU using Internet !!)

As the entire class-room burst into laughter, Suman is left somewhat confused, wondering if he passed off any foolish remark or said anything wrong !!

PS: Suman is an IIT KGP Computer Science Grad, who was in his later half of 2nd yr UG, when 'this conversation' took place. Presently he is working in India's own Silicon Valley Bangalore for a Fortune 100 company based in California. Back then he was wet behind the ears, but is now confident enough not to be afraid of locking horns with IT industry vetarans.

Ohh, By The Way Don't tell his employer, about this episode, for his employer may find this a strong enough reason to hand him a pink-slip during these slow-down times !!!

What a Touching Story !!

2006-09-01T17:45:00.000+05:30

Hats off to Jagran for the following piece !!!
http://in.jagran.yahoo.com/sahitya/?page=article&articleid=713&category=1

(Before navigating to this page, please download the Hindi font from jagran website )

After a long time I came through a really nice piece of hindi literature on web, fully relevant in today's fast-track materialistic rat-race world. After reading it I
really got emotional about my parents and relatives (I am pretty sure you too will feel the same way) who want your time, company more than anything else(Read money).. Believe me I am shaken deep inside because whatever has happened in the aforementioned story, I don't rule out the possibility of happening the same in my family too, if I keep on doing the same thing, whatever I am doing right now(working in the software industry),for the rest of my life.

The story ends like this
Having realized that all through his life He ran, ran and kept on running. But finally when he sees his 'chachi' flying to heaven in a flash, he realizes his mistake and finally just repeats a poem, his chachi used to tell him during his childhood days

Hirla Jhool Ge Sajni
Bihan Hato Pawani

(Oh, my dear, my beloved friend, let's enjoy and have fun, tomorrow is the festival (but you mayn't be alive to witness it !!!)

PS : I am back to my blogging ways :):)

Attending A South-Indian Marriage

2006-03-25T13:20:00.000+05:30

Whenever you think of a marriage(Not your marriage off course!!!) there are only two things that comes into your mind :- One is the different kind of people(read nice good-looking girls) and the other is the delicious food waiting for you...(Ummmmm..That is too tempting...I am already licking my lips on the prospects of attending a marriage back home in September)

But pretty recently I have had a very contrasting experience regarding the marriage but "unfortunately" it was a south-indian marriage(Tough luck south-indian guys!!). And i would love to share my "experience" with you all.

I leave my place Bangalore with my battery fully charged up for the marriage..Ohh marriage..So many people..So many pretty girls to watch out for..Who knows..Apna Bhee Sikka kahin Jam Jaaye..Apna Taaka Phit Ho Jaaye...So I reach the station well before time, take the train and leave for the "destination". Next morning I reach "the" place. Although I have a well-drawn map and complete address of the place where I was supposed to go, but then my geographical skills are so poor that sometimes I am confused whether sun rises in east or west!!

And to beat it all I was supposed to go to a place named as WadaKancheri not WadaKaancheri(Plz Note the subtle difference between the name of places!!!).There is only one letter difference between these two places although they fall on either side of railway station around 20-25 KMs apart. So you take the the bus, you miss the pronunciation(Either your tongue deceived you or your accent didn't come out properly....or You are feeling dizzy...or whatever) and U can be sure that you are in for some serious trouble....You will be in a place which has got "almost" the same name as your desired place but u are only 40-50 KMs away from the place u would have been!!!!

But then God is there to help out poor souls like me.While being in the train I built friendship with a guy who happened to be from the same place as my destination and has been working in Intel for 2-3 years. I was impressed with the knowledge that he possessed about some of the software tools that are used so frequently inside out organization. We had quite some topics to discuss and we hardly slept through the night. In between, he offered an assurance of sorts that I won't be lost on this heaven-on-earth land. So at least now I was certain that I will be able to attend the function in time.

Then comes the food....In our college days we used to take Idli and all the junk stuffs quite fondly...But after coming to south I really doubt whether any one of we north-indians has got still the same liking for Idli and all?? Here u struggle to swallow(swallow is the most appropriate word for these south-indian shits!!!) even a bit of Idli but at the same time you see people finishing off 10-12 idlis in a flash taking it in big gulps as if it's some pious !!

Disclaimer: This piece is meant only to hurt the individuals esepcially the south-indian ones and if your don't feel hurt by the same while still being a south-indian(I think i am talking of a miracle) then feel free to give me the feedback regarding the south indian marriage !!!

This is not finished yet, hope to complete this one very soon. I hope I am done in by my memory as this marriage took place more than 4 years ago. Watch out this space for more

Taste of a South-Indian Cup of Tea

2005-05-25T16:13:00.000+05:30

This piece is dedicated to few of the die-hard TEA-Fan Club members.Take for example mine...You can offer me a cup of tea anywhere anytime, I will gladly accept that. But the only condition is you can offer me either a good cup of tea and if not a good cup of tea then at least hot water will do (which I will be happy to take assuming that it will deliver some goods for my sore throat) but not a South-Indian Cup of TEA!!!!! You might have estimated the ammount of "love" I possess in my heart for the south-indian tea!!!! LOL...Guys,You come to south india to take a glimpse of the tea being served here.I bet You will forget how does a cup of tea taste like!!! You will even quit your habit of taking tea during your stay in south.....

My experience over here suggests that here in south india tea sounds more like a homogeneous mixture of water,milk,sugar,tea-powder, although sometimes they put ginger into it also..but you won't have anything on the TEA-part. I mean to call this so called homogeneous mixture as TEA will be an insult to the word TEA!!!! You take tea and such is the beauty of this south-indian tea that within a fraction of seconds u will come to know of all the constituent elements of tea!!!You will feel that Oh This is made up of Milk..Ok this contains water too....There we have sugar too and..and....finally tea powder too......Wowww grttt...but then this doesn't taste like a tea at all....this is real sh** man..What is this yaar.....This is tea man, tea..a typical south-indian cup of tea.....South Indian Tea...My a**....Finally u curse the person who "advised" you to order tea, pay the bill(which is not cheaper either by any standard but the quality is indeed pathetic to say the least) half-heartedly and decide not to take any more tea in future from a south-indian hotel!!!!! Guys i am telling you this is not a problem with south-indian hotels i have been to one of my friends' home there also the story was not much different....I asked what's wrong with the tea in south india the lady says like this There might be something wrong with the tea-powder being sold here in maket..Does that mean Lipton Tajmahal and all have a different-2 flavour for north-india and south-india!!! May be who knows....But after being to bangalore(which is also south only) i have successfully found out some places where you can hang-out and will get a grand cup of tea....No prize for guessing that these shops are owned by north-indians!!!!!!

I have even tried to prepare tea using the same south-indian tea-powder in my room..Believe me it is as tasteful as the one i used to get at my native place and at Chhedis (One of the most visited n highly adored hotels/dhabas in world!!!!!). Does that mean these south-indians don't know how to prapare a cup of tea?? I think we know the answer.

Disclaimer: This piece is meant only to hurt the individuals(who "may" be liking south-indian tea) especially the south-indian ones who may find ways to support "their" tea, but these opinions are solely mine(Although i can safely bet any north-indian tea-liking person presently staying in south india will give you more or less the same or may be an even worse :):) compliments). And if you don't feel getting hurt by the same while still being a south-indian(I think i am talking of a miracle) then feel free to give me the feedback regarding the south indian tea!!!!

Story Of An IIT KGP Computer Science Graduate

2005-04-22T20:54:00.000+05:30

This definitely sounds like a story,at least to me.It's a story of an IIT Computer Science graduate.I don't know how fascinating this story will be to read.I leave the decision to the readers.Please let me know through your comments.Enough of the prologue part...Let me get started and introduce "the" individual.

This guy is claimed to be a genius by his poor school friends(Among the blinds one-eyed man is the king) and his parents(sounds familiar,right..every child is termed as brilliant by his parents.So nothing new in that).Further, this poor chap has his 10 and 12 standard marks barely above the first class barrier 60%(My guess is this Bihar Board thing has more to do with that than the talent he possessed.He still has only 4(four) marks out of 75 in Intermediate Chemistry II paper,thanks to a computer mistake engineered by a "responsible" Inter Council Employee). So you can count him as just another average student.But somehow or other he manages an All India JEE Rank of 198 and that too on his first attempt!!!!. Was it a fluke?? Only God knows. He has not even touched a computer till the date he cleared JEE but going by his parents' and friends' words he "decided" to take computer science as his graduate subject.

He candidly accepts that he is a highly confused person.The only time he didn't get confused in his life was while taking the decision to go for IIT JEE preparation which was then and is still now considered as a "dead end" by many of his "well-wishers".And he gets even more confused the moment he enters his college by the happenings around him. He had a torrid first year, where he finds his feet completely at sea probably due to lack of communication skills(This guy had done everything upto +2 in HINDI medium and the first time he spoke english was on the first day in Electrical Lab!!!!). But somehow he manages to survive thanks in no small parts to his best chum in college days RK who happens to be an even more suffering soul(at least during his graduate studies).But he always believed and still believes that had it not been RK he would not have been able to complete his graduate studies.For without RK's constant support through thicks(which were indeed rare) and thins(which were aplenty) he definitely might have struggled to get going in this fast track IIT system.May God bless RK with all his blessings and help him achieve the goals that he had set for himself.This guy along with RK and few other friends struggled a lot to "pass" in the Programming course but he somehow manages to come out of this course with a D(which is just above P-Pass). What a debut?? A wannabe CS graduate scoring D in his first departmental subject!!! But he personally feels he has not done too badly , after all he passed!!!

Then comes second year.Unfortunately he had no seniors in any IIT anywhere who could tell him anything abt the (gruelling/torturing) incoming years. So he goes back home,thanks his God,rests in peace that no more programming business for now,enjoys,comes back and finds that this 2nd year is even more difficult,more and more programming jobs in queue!!! He could do nothing about it other than being "victimised" by the IIT system and prepared to get thrashed by the so called world-class faculties.History repeats itself and he again registers a D in another programming subject Algorithm. And since after 2nd year first sem there was almost no programming work(at least for him as he "decided" not to submit any assignment in any of the courses after 2nd year first sem) he relaxes quite comfortably.And the most familiar site in the lab classes was this guy receiving some tongue lashings from the faculties!!! But somehow either by hook or crook(To be honest this guy was very honest in whatever he used to do and is still very much the same person.He never asked anyone for help in his exams/class-tests/projects so while some of his batch mates could easily muster up A/B grades without doing anything extra he consistently clocked a C/D or an even more embarrassing P in nearly all the subjects) he manages to complete all his courses/labs within the stipulated four years and pass-out of his college gracefully.One more serious problem with this guy was that he was unable to work in a group(which is defined as TEAM-Working).So my guess is he can definitely be declared unfit/unsuitable for most of the IT companies(Especially the services firms) where we have a "TEAM" for doing almost everything ranging from analysis/design/developement/testing. And that's exactly what happened in his First job!!!

This guy always hated C(he didn't know java then and still doesn't know , even after undergoing 8-weeks "Intensive Java Training/Work-Shop" during his stay at his first employer!!!!) programming in his college days.In fact after second year first semester no body had even seen him writing a code in C.To top it all one interviewer(Unfortunately his first employer) asked whether he knew anything abt C or not after listening to his cryptographic and hardware relatd fundaes for half an hour (which were of no use to him/his company,Alas)?Even one of his friend told him in his final semester that i have never seen you doing any programming exercises till date and very soon you are passing out as a CS grad from IIT!!!! He was correct in doing an "honest" assessment of this CS grad. No body either had seen him doing any programming exercises throught his stay for 4 years.A familiar site in his room is like this...Two-three windows open on his system with very-2 small resolution n even smaller font size so that no body could see anything(He was smart in copying!!). All they could see on his room PC is that he has just now copied someone else's code and is "busy" typing Cntrl-F Cntrl-R.So i think we can safely categorize this guy as a bigtime programming bunny.
Although I still believe that he was good in patches and he could have done much better. Here are few examples to prove the above stated claims:--

This guy was a real maniac towards Mathematics. Even in IITs, supposedly the beehive of talented individuals,People used to distance themselves miles away from any subject involving maths but he always believed(And still holds the same belief) that Maths is the easiest subject on this planet (ohh really!!!) and programming(especially in C) is the toughest task.He proved that to some extent in his first year where he was struggling with almost all the subjects barring one and that was Maths where he scored a rare A and an even rarer B in consecutive sems.And following this notion of himself in his 3rd year he went on to take an elective in electrical engineering department dropping his own Computer Sc elective, in other words he preferred to write meaningless electrical lab records rather than doing Java coding for software engineering, simply because he felt at that time that the Electrical engineering subject will involve more math that software engineering!!! I fully agree that being strong in maths doesn't mean u should be good in programming too. But at least one of his wingmate VB always used to wonder how come he is weak in programming despite being so strong in maths related stuffs. Only God knew the answer at that time, although he also found an answer to the same although a touch too late.But believe it or not this "self-realisation" couldn't have come at a better time than his first job!!!.So it went simply otherway round when he joined his first company a software firm in chennai (the name of his first company is too long that's one reason and the other is he really hates this company like anything and he doesn't want to criticise any company in open.So....But the clue is..the company name starts with letter C. But in chennai you won't find many "long-named" companies starting with letter C!!! So you can easily guess)and underwent a training in JAVA!! His choices took a complete U turn while being in chennai.He was decent at Verilog,another language which he used to like in his college days and he still likes the most. And believe it or not Verilog is just C with POINTERS dropped(ohh no POINTERS.......that gives us huge relief..but if u drop pointers then what is there in C!!!). So this guy started taking C seriously turning a complete blind eye to the Java training he was going through...(although he was smart enough to clear an Oracle interview during his training days solely on the basis of Java!!!)So somehow or the other he was just repeating the same mistakes that he had commited earlier.Always doing the right thing at the wrong time.So he was destined to suffer in the IT industry if he was to be in Java based business so he decided that he had had enough.He thought that let me stick to C only.He realised(which he had never done before) that he is "strong" in Verilog so automatically he should do well in C and given the disliking towards Java shown by him during his training days his friends also suggested the same.So he started taking C more seriously than ever. He could see that some of his colleagues at the same company were getting paid a handsome salary just for reading newspapers and forwarding mails(It still holds true in case of some of my colleagues). But he was supposed to do some White-box testing(although he used to do it half-heartedly) for his job(Read survival/living) and apart from that he was "mastering" C.But the best was yet to come. By divine's intervention after being overlooked for nearly 1 and half months by the same company he gets shortlisted for Oracle.This guy has not written a single C code for past 2 and half years or so(and is equally bad in Java too) but somehow or the other he finds a lot of confidence going into the interview..So when the interviewer(who happens to be his current manager) asks him that Which language you would like to prefer/work for when u join our company if at all you get through our selection process, he doesn't even think twice and says confidently "off-course" C. And rest is history. He cracks at the interview answering most of the questions(At least questions regarding C) gets selected in a position where his "team" consists of only one individual and that is himself, an ideal scenario for him given that he was not good at teamworks.He comes at Oracle,is still at Oracle only and as proclaimed by him has learnt hell lot of things in the past 4-5 months(may be more than what he "learnt" during his 4 years stay in IIT KGP),has improved by leaps and bounds and in his words he has become a "STUD"(A jargon frequently used in IITs, genrally pronounced as Eshtudddd) in C.

This guy had a strong liking for the VLSI,EDA and Hardware related stuffs. He did all the courses related to hardware/vlsi/eda during his undergraduate days.He went on to do so many courses on hardware that in one of the MNC's written tests he scored 9 out of 10 in Hardware and 3 out of 10 in Software!!!! Needless to say that he was thrown out of the selection process as the opening was for the software stream not for hardware!!!!So we can safely say that his strength is not computer science, his real strength was electronics which was what he always wanted to be(He had a brief spat with his parents on this issue of taking Computer Sc or Electronics Engg on his JEE counselling days also).

Finally one word or two about this guy's communication skill.This guy is being interviewed in the same company mentioned above,where he gets 9 out of 10 and is still thrown out like a bee out of a tea cup.The interviewer asks few questions and he answers.Finally towards the end the interviewer is "impressed" with him and asks what is his native state.He answers Bihar.BIHAAAAAAR...The interviewer got really excited and says....ohh u are from BIHAR.I can't believe this.You speak english pretty fast(He got almost the same compliments from his current employer also in his second interview).How did u do that??I thought u are from south!!!!Then he jokingly asks the interviewer that Whether this statement was a fact or just a compliment??The interviewer tells no man it's indeed a fact.You must be proud of your background. He comes out of the interview room with a winning smile on his face only to know later on that his services are not required by the company!! But he has taken this defeat in his stride and is planning to "avenge" this "loss" sonner than later.This guy strongly believes in God and time and again insists that Bhagwan Jo Karte Hain Bhale Ke Liye Hin Karte Hain(Whatever God does with u, it's always for the betterment of ur self) and since everything happens for a reason, by "rejecting" him for this job at that time God had done a lot of favour.Now he is in a much better position than he would have been had he been selected at that point of time.He feels that he has become a lot more "mature" and "experienced" ,had understood lots and lots of things regarding the business/market/industry, is more confident and is now ready to take up the same position once again with gusto.We just hope that this guy finds his destination sooner than later so that at least for once he can get something right,which he has failed to achieve throughout his entire career and that is "Doing the right thing at the right time".

One more (rare to find and not so prevalent, at least in this materialistic world) quality of this guy i missed out to mention is his "generousness" and i still remember AD(one of his wingmate) heaping praise onto him on being so honest,helping,down-to-earth and not being opportunist by any means.He doesn't mind spending money on his friends and donating his money nearly at will to the under-previleged persons.And on being asked by one of his close friends SS he explains plainly, Because i don't drink neither I smoke,So i should find some way to spend my money!!! Nice Excuse for spending your money, Right??

We wish all good luck to this proud soul from Supaul to scale new heights in whichever field he chooses to persue and make his native Supaul even prouder for himself.

Job Satisfaction Continued

2005-04-22T18:09:00.000+05:30

Continuing from the point where I left off let me introduce one more individual Mr R.I think I have already introduced this person in my first post.Remember "the" guy for whom Mr M had commented out that he is best suited for a governmental job(I also fully agree with M on this).But in case of M, the reasons for having such an opinion might be different. May be due to his "peaceful" job n life-style,a balance between work and personal life(read masti) tilted more and more towards the later and still earning more than him despite hailing from almost the same academic/technical background ,Mr M might be feeling jealous of him. But in my case I really doubt whether anyone can be in a better position to understand Mr R's "job satisfaction" other than me, the obvious reason is that I am sharing virtually everything with him (Apart from my undergarments ha ha ha ha ha....Courtesy Munna Bhai MBBS!!) right from the day one I landed in bangalore.

My school of thought suggests that Mr R is a very good "planner".On a scale of 10 I would be more than happy to give him 9.5 or may be even 10.But more often that not he "forgets"(He honestly accepts in public that his memory is embarrassingly weak) that in order to achieve the desired results you need to "execute" the plans also(Ohh really!!!). So that's the introduction abt this guy. Let's now list out his "job-experiences".

R leaves his native place with an "idea" of a job switch over(His first employer is paying him very less although as proclaimed by his employer it's at par with the "average" compensation offered by the IT giants!!! No pun intended, I leave the decision to readers how do u compute the "average" compensation in IT industry by counting some of the popular Indian IT forms or taking out the average of the salaries in some of the MNCs,the true giants in S/W industry) . But after landing in bangalore he gets "lost" in the limelight and the flashy world around him and "forgets" his ideas and starts his journey in his not-so-preferred company.R is very happy undergoing "Entry Level Training" in his company where he did everything other than getting "trained". He was smart enough to realize that these "trainings" don't help you at all at least for ur project works(It's useful only when u update ur resume,adding one line in ur resume like this-- I have undergone a training in this this field from this date to this date where as a part of my training I did so and so...bla bla). He "completes" his training successfully and is now "project-ready"(This was a jargon I learnt during my training days in chennai) . He is allocated into some project. But here he sees no correspondence between the work assigned to him and the training he underwent. In training he had "learnt" almost everything ranging from C/C++/Java/.NET/VB/VC, Algorithms, HTML,XSL within a span of 2 months and that too accompanied with real-world examples!!! My guess is U gotta be a superman to undergo such a training!!! And here he sees something totally new to him, the work,the platform everything.Here he finds the going really tough as there is no such training available for the product he is working on. He finds the users' manual very difficult to follow and he is forced to rely on "chance" and his seniors/co-workers(I will explain this word "chance" in detail later on). Somehow he manages to survive in his job thanks to few good and helping souls around him.

One more enviable "virtue" of Mr R is his "extreme" laziness.You can call it as Neighbours'(read his room partners') envy,Owners' pride!! Me along with one of my close friend reckon he must be the "laziest" around(In fact we openly challenge you to find out a lazier chap and we assure you of a treat in Leela Palace!! Hurry up guys,Offer closes down very soon). There is an old day adage stating that "Alasyam Hin Manushyanaam Sharirashtho Mahan Ripuh" (Laziness is the worst enemy of a human being) and this adage applies word-by-word in case of Mr R. He is so lazy that at times he finds out the details regarding the openings in any company in bangalore from one of his friends(which is me only!!) sitting in chennai. So quite naturally the guy sitting in chennai successfully did a job-change before he did so and he still ends up in the same company.

The most frequent answer/excuse u will be getting from this poor soul is "Yaar Man Nahin Kar Raha Hai/Tha" (I don't/didn't feel like doing/going for that). This guy was "enjoying" and "suffering" at the same time in his job and he also used to complain quite often abt the mismanagement prevailing in the company, the treatment handed out to the novices etc etc. But he is not finding it enough to go for a switch over!!! He "decides" that he should "accumulate" some "experience" before switching his job!! But I constantly reminded him abt the experience he is gaining from his job(which is almost next to nothing,u can safely say so because my guess is inside the company everything runs by chance, some of the bugs reported by the customers using the company products are closed automatically after being left untouched by developers for few days!!!LOL..Apart from that we have an attrition rate closing towards 100 %.On paper it may be only 10-15 % but who ever u talk to inside the comapny he is planning to leave this company sooner than later.U won't find even a single soul who is "satisfied" with his job and is not planning to leave). I thought let me do something for R. So I did some favours to him like finding out the details regarding the consultants,companies,references n all those things u need to know/do before going for a switch over, apart from constantly motivating him(read kicking his a***) to quit his job. He gets a call from one of the start ups in Networking(His current employer which is not so well known in public). On the interview days he feels "lazy"(nothing new!!) and thinks a lot whether to go for the interview or not.Finally he comes up with his "decision" and thinks of letting his friend know of the same. He calls his friend and gives an excuse like this Are Yaar Interview Dene Jaane Ka Man Nahin Kar Raha Hai.Bahut Door Hai..Bus Bhee Nahin Milegee!!!(I don't feel like going for the interview..It's too far man..I won't even get a bus for the purpose) and for good measure the interview location was hardly 2 KMs from his place!!!!. His friend gets angry,blasts him and virtually orders him to go for the interview.This guy decides to take up the interview albeit half-heartedly.And believe it or not he cracks at the interview.In fact he was so confident that he confused the interviewer on a question relating to local and global variable!!!He gets selected by the company and is still in the same company "enjoying" his job. And he "enjoyed" his new company to such an extent that he managed to see a hike of 17% in his salary in the first one month without doing anything extra!!!!

But now at times I "regret" my decision to "motivate" him for a job switch-over. I think I did it just a touch too many times. Now you can see his resume floating in almost every second company having an opening!!! LOL....
Talking abt his present job Mr R always looks pretty "satisfied" with his job(although he still finds at least thousand reasons for being disappointed and changing his company!!!). But even then at times he "thinks" seriously of a switch over. The reason he gives is like this "Yaar Company ka kisi ne naam hin nahin hai" (No body has heard of this company!!!).Do u think you should work for a company which is there on the lips of everyone,take for example Infosys!! Given a chance i am more than sure u won't join infy!!! But R thinks so. Freedom of Speech/Thought Man.....He further argues Yaar MicroSoft mein jaaoge to naam hoga(Microsoft has got a name,so if you work for microsoft,no matter what job you do inside, then only it will be good). Sometimes he whines about his job.He is in Network Testing Team, but if u say testing he will take it on his chin and strongly protest, it's not testing man it's SQA,Software Quality Assurance!!! (I am also in QA only and I also hate being dubbed as a "TESTER"!! So R is no exception to that psyche).He complains that He "decided" to join this company only after being "promised" by the company that he has been taken for development and now he is "forced" to continue doing Testing and this gonna continue for next 3-4 months or so!!!!But pretty recently just 2-3 days ago R finds out that the way to development has too many ladders to cross.....You gotta know lots and lots of things before u start "developing". He sees developer spending hell lot of time trying to understand what needs to be "developed", discussing strategies how to proceed and things like that,unlike himself who is done with his job in a flash!!!(Sometimes he goes to office at around 11 am or so and comes back at 4 pm only!!! One possible reason could be either R is too smart for the job or the job he is assigned to is not that testing and taxing given the skill set he possesses!!). He gets terrified by the schedule the developers usually follow which is in stark contrast to his peaceful,comfortable whatever u say for that matter,schedule. So now his opinion takes a U-turn and he starts liking "Testing" and has "decided" to stick with testing only,at least for now!!!

This guy possesses some of the virtues that has a striking resemblence with those i possess. Take for example his special knack for doing right thing at the wrong time and vice-versa.If this guy has an interview tomorrow morning, where he is expected to be asked on C and Data Structure then on the last night he will read almost everything but C and Data Structure!!!(Although still he comes out on top after the interview and even manages to confuse the interviewer with his technical fundaes!!!). I also find myself in the same category but then R beats me on this frontier. Previously i used to believe that this is the worst any1's attitude can be but then God is great. He "created" R thereby ensuring the correctness of the long-said theorem on integers-arithmetic(There is at least one integer less than and at least one integer greater than any given number!!) .So given Mr S there exists Mr R such that Prop(R) > Prop(S).

In the end all I have to say abt R is he doesn't know what he wants from his job. I mean whichever job he joins he will always find some reason to be dissatisfied. Be it Microsoft/Intel or for that matter whatever company. But one thing is sure this guy is a genius and whichever stream he chooses to continue his job, he will be equally good in that and is bound to excel in every domain, if he manages to overcome his lethargic attitude.I wish all good luck and success to this Dhanbaadi n Dukhi Aatma(poor soul)(Although he never looks frustated at any point of time but then looks might be deceptive as well, so he might be forgiven for that and this nick name "Dukhi Aatma" was proudly coined by one of our highly adored :):) depmate Mr Tikli).

And finally I pray to the God that he does something to increase his calorie levels(R always envies guys with high calorie contents, that includes me as well :):) in their bodies!!)thereby ensuring more energy exuded by him, stop making his hair gray, sends a good girl-friend for her, gives him money in abundance and the list goes on and on.
Message from /local/bin/God_Prayers_Granter.exe
Sorry Argument List Too Long!!!! Command Failed.....None of the requests granted!!!! :(:( I feel sorry for R.

Job Satisfaction

2005-04-22T13:53:00.000+05:30

I usually talk with lots and lots of my friends regarding their job(more than their life) and somehow or the other I have a special penchant for knowing whether they are 'satisfied' with their job or not.So I thought why don't i share my 'experiences' regarding their job experiences!!
Here are few samples..

Hi Mr. M how are u doing in ur job.M says that as usual he is doing some sort of regress testing and some customer's case handling business(He is in bug-fixing and support division).And more often that not he pronounces these words as if these are some four lettered words!!!!!

So it goes without saying that he is not happy with his job.My guess is the prime reason for being dissatisfied with his job is his salary which is close to 50 % of one of his college day friends of the same branch(for whom he feels like he is best suited for a governmental job!!No pun intended,Reasons i will explain later on).Although one of my close friend draws even less salary(less to such an extent that he is exempted off all the taxes by the Indian government...lucky tax non-paying guys!!!!).To add insult to injury one of M's depmate has got through one of the giant companies in software industry causing him to go through an ic(inferiority complex) although i don't think it's just an ic alone, may be mixed with jealousy as well, who knows!!!! But one thing is sure he feels down abt himself just due to his job(read salary).

Sometimes he does gets (over)optimistic over his salary which is due to go through a hike in May.And says like this "Are pata hai salary double bhee ho saktee hai"(Salary might be doubled as well!!!) but then suddenly he realises his mistake,puts his feet firmly on ground and says nahin yaar 30-40 % se jyada nahin badhega kisi bhee haal mein(No man this f***ing salary is not gonna increase more than 30-40 % in any case).

Sometimes he consoles himself by looking at one of his colleagues in the same company who happens to be 'serving' the company for past 7 years and as proclaimed by Mr. M he draws somewhere around 1 Lakh or so per month as his salary.So sometimes Mr M also thinks "seriously" abt amassing so much "work experience" and finally start enjoying his life after 10 years or so. But At times Mr. M is pissed off to such an extent by the same colleague mentioned before and some of the other guys around him,who also claim to be having so called "2 and half/3 years of industry relevant work experience", that he says ye company na ch***** logon se bhadee pade hai..This f***ing company is full of a**h***s.No body knows anything..Everything happens by chance only...I really don't know how does this company make so much money?? Public wisdom suggests that the CEO of the company will hold an answer to M's query.After all he is the person who runs the show,doesn't he??

This "experience word has also got lots and lots of meanings behind it, at least my personal feelings say so. Believe me or not i have seen guys with 4 years of "industry relvant work experience" who hardly knows anything abt pointers and operating systems!! I guess u need to read between the lines.I will explain this word 'work experience' later on in detail. Although M also aggress with me on this frontier that this IT industry is full of a**h***s and incompetent individuals..And M goes on to add that even Microsoft and Intel has these kind of people, who were just "lucky" to get through.And within a flash he cites an example also,involving one of his colleagues,who has just got through Microsoft pretty recently.

Sometimes we all are talking abt the big guns in the industry and some of our fortunate n previlaged friends working in these companies(off course this list includes me as well!!!).This guy turns philosophical and says like this Sab Moh Maya Hai(everything is delusion only)while trying to put up a brave face in front of us!!!! Although he does "love" his job n company and seems pretty perturbed when we jointly 'criticize' n 'abuse' his company and says like this(with his eyes wide open and hands thrown in air) "Tumko pata hai( Do you know) in storage our company is among the best and there is a "dearth" of good "experienced" guys in this field so better you stay quite and see me after 4 or 5 years!!!!!".

I think one more point i missed out is that due to his fortune/misfortune(which ever is applicable, i leave the decision to the readers) he meets only those guys who are above him(read draw more salary than him). Take for example he met one call centre employee.(I think now a days it's a crime n an offence to pronounce call centres as call centres,Come on guys.......call centre sounds cheap, doesn't it?U gotta pay some respect to the "ITES" industry!!!!And believe me the guys working in these "call centres" take it on their chin and protest strongly that this is NOT call centre this is BPO, Business Process Outsourcing,u a***h***!!!!!!) .Unfortuantely this call center employee happens to be (again) an "experienced" guy working as a senior manager in one of the BPO firms. This BPO guy draws around 10 Lakh per annum as his salary.M is hugely impressed by his life style and we can see sometimes Mr M fantasizing himself working full time in a BPO firm having a microphone strapped around his ears ansewering the phone-calls.He even tries to "impress/bully" we guys that what are u guys doing in the software industry..Call centre mein jaao..kya mast job hai...No mundane n boring Coding job..nothing...Code likhke kya karoge...etc..etc..just answer few calls and come back....Enjoy!!!But no prize for guessing that these arguments don't cut any ice on us.

Finally in the end all i have to say is that this guy is not worried at all about the kind of job he is gonna/wanna do , the only thing that worries him is 'the' salary so whichever stream/industry pays him the higher salary he will blindly join the same. And he has already put his best foot forward for this.Just nearly one month ago He has become a CAT aspirant and now he is seriously preparing hard for the ultimate test which will help his salary go through "a massive increase". We wish all good luck and success to this frustated soul from IIT KGP presently working in HP and hope that he comes out of CAT 2005 with flying colours.
So that's the story as far as Mr M is concerned.
About others(including myself) in the next blog,
Suman

PS: Just 2-3 days ago the highly awaited salary hike has come and despite the (over)optimism shown by M, his employer shows no mercy onto him. But then something is better than nothing and taking this with a touch of philosophy M is happy(at least he pretends to be happy) that his salary has seen a hike of 25%!!!(which is not too less that the maximum hike offered to anyone).

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